Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others think people should have freedom to choose the activities they want to do. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some individuals argue that risky activities lead to physical injuries and unnecessary costs, and
therefore
should be prohibited.
However
, others think that everyone should be free to follow their interests because of the benefits of discovering their abilities and developing vital skills. vital skills. I completely agree with the latter view and believe that everyone has the right to pursue their favourite
sports
. One argument for banning unsafe exercises is that they can cause serious problems for participants,
as well as
spectators.
for example
, activities
such
as white-water rafting and mountain climbing often involve difficult situations that can result in irreparable injuries.
For instance
, news occasionally reports highlight incidents where climbers have fallen down, leading to significant physical harm or even death. Another reason is that these
sports
need particular equipment which requires financial resources.
therefore
, many agree that
such
expenses would be better spent on more productive purposes in society and the environment. That being said, people should be free to pursue their passions among various hobbies. The main advantage of
this
idea is that it can raise adrenaline levels, meaning that those who experience adventure and thrill can improve their moods and help them enhance their mental and physical well-being over the long term.
furthermore
, engaging in these
sports
may provide opportunities to discover talents and drive personal growth.
For example
, my friend is passionate about risky
sports
, and
this
characteristic completely influences her life, because she never fears making new decisions or facing different challenges. I believe that both views present valid points;
however
, I strongly believe that people should have a choice in their favourite
sports
as long as they are aware of the risks and take precautions to minimize them. In conclusion,
although
many agree that some
sports
are detrimental to one’s health and are not economical, others believe that these
sports
can offer a chance to promote a positive lifestyle. I personally feel that these activities can foster essential life skills in individuals, contributing to a more enjoyable and fulfilling life.
Submitted by sarmastsobhan1994 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to maintain clarity and purpose in each paragraph. The repetition of 'vital skills' in the introduction should be avoided. Elaborate on specific examples rather than making generalized statements to strengthen main points.
task achievement
Ensure to answer all parts of the question. While the essay provides a clear position, more could be done to explore the reasoning behind the opposite view. Incorporate specific examples or statistics that reveal the costs or frequency of injuries associated with dangerous sports.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prohibit
  • autonomy
  • adrenaline rush
  • resilience
  • subjective
  • informed decision
  • extreme sports
  • hazardous
  • regulation
  • legislation
  • thrill-seeking
  • risk assessment
  • safety measures
  • protective gear
  • inherent risks
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