IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

A rise in the standard of living in a country often only seems to benefit cities rather than rural areas. What problems can this cause? How might these problems be reduced?

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In developed countries, the life quality in urban territories is much higher than in villages.
That is
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 why the
population
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 migrate to big cities from rural areas. It causes two main problems
such
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 as childbirth decreasing and the loss agricultural
sector
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 of the economy. There are two main solutions that can be provided to eliminate these issues.
Firstly
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,
people
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 who live in rural areas observe
children
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 as a main support in work. After achieving the age of 12 or even
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
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less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
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children
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 help to work and bring additional value to a family. Despite it can be observed as a child's exploitation, it works even at the present time.
On the contrary
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, growth of the urban
children
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 is much more expensive and brings nothing in terms of profitability.
Consequently
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, the
population
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 in a country become older and decreases as well. One of the necessary solutions is the special government policy of additional funding which supports having at least three
children
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 in families.
For example
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, the policy of one child in China or at least two babies in Russia give their results in changing the
population
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 number.
Secondly
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, the migration of
people
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 to urban areas kills the agricultural
sector
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 of the economy. So to say, there are no workers in
this
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 sphere.
Thus
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, a country loses its national food
sector
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 which has been quite dangerous in recent years.
Moreover
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, food which is delivered from other countries is not so fresh and healthy because transportation requires to use of special chemistry which prolongs the food life expectancy.
This
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 problem can be reduced by the government which provides subsidies and makes agriculture quite attractive and lucrative to
people
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.
For instance
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, government support in Poland allows for a rebirth of the agricultural
sector
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.
To sum up
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, in the present time,
people
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 migrate to cities because of the high life levels.
Accordingly
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 to
this
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, countries face with decrease in
population
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 and the disappearance of agriculture as the national economy
sector
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. Only the support and sponsorship of authority can guarantee solutions to these problems.

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Coherence & Cohesion
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Coherence & Cohesion
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Coherence & Cohesion
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Task Achievement
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Task Achievement
Include specific examples to back up your claims. These can come from real-world events, studies, or hypothetical scenarios that clearly relate to the topic.
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