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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

some expert believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than at secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#expert #children #language #school #outweigh
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The timing of introducing foreign
language
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 learning to
children
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 is a subject of ongoing debate, with some advocating for its initiation during primary
school
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 rather than secondary
level
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.
This
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 essay will critically examine both the advantages and disadvantages of starting foreign
language
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 learning at the primary
school
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level
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 and argue that the potential drawbacks outweigh the benefits. A significant advantage of early foreign
language
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 learning is the promotion of cultural awareness and global understanding among young
learners
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. Learning a new
language
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 exposes
children
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 to different cultures, customs, and traditions, fostering a sense of curiosity and open-mindedness.
For instance
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, research has shown that students who study foreign languages from an early age tend to develop a greater appreciation for cultural diversity and are more receptive to collaborating with individuals from different backgrounds.
On the contrary
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, one major disadvantage of introducing foreign
language
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 learning at the primary
school
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level
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 is the risk of putting heavy pressure on young
learners
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. At
such
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 a tender age,
children
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 may already be grappling with foundational subjects and social adjustments, and the addition of a foreign
language
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 curriculum could impose excessive pressure on them. The early introduction of a new
language
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 might hinder their progress in core subjects and lead to burnout. Another significant disadvantage is the potential for shallow
language
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 learning outcomes. Young
learners
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 might not possess the cognitive maturity required to grasp complex grammar rules and nuances of foreign languages fully.
As a result
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, they might only acquire superficial knowledge, leading to difficulties in achieving fluency and practical usage of the
language
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.
For instance
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, research has indicated that
children
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 who start learning a foreign
language
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 at a later stage tend to exhibit more sophisticated
language
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 proficiency, indicating that early exposure may not necessarily lead to better outcomes. Considering the risks of overwhelming young
learners
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 and the potential for shallow
language
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 learning, it is evident that introducing foreign
language
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 instruction at the primary
school
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level
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 has more disadvantages than advantages. In conclusion,
while
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 some argue in favour of starting foreign
language
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 learning during primary
school
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, the potential drawbacks of overwhelming young
learners
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 and the risk of shallow
language
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 acquisition suggest that
this
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 approach may not be the most effective.
Therefore
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, we should wait for a few more years before we introduce a second
language
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 to our
children
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 in primary schools.
Submitted by sunil.jakhu on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic, however, the main points could be more fully extended with relevant examples and deeper analysis. Be sure to support your arguments with specific evidence to enhance clarity and impact.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a discernible introduction and conclusion, which is commendable. To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and use a variety of linking phrases to create a seamless flow of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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