IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

"Prevention is better than a cure". Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures.

#prevention #cure #diseases #measures
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Of course, the concept of "
prevention
 is better than cure" leads to debates about the priority of
prevention
, using investments in scientific research to treat diseases.
While
 some argue that developing technologies to treat disease is expensive and that
prevention
 should be emphasized, I disagree. Research tests for drug discovery and smooth and cost cycle expectations. The fight against COVID-19 proves that investment is essential to save humanity.
This
 is an obvious urgent need for scientific research and medical advances. The pandemic highlights the importance of allocating resources to rapidly understand and combat emerging threats. Preventive measures alone may not be sufficient to address rapidly changing and unpredictable
health
 crises.
However
, it is worth recognizing the investment in the preventive part. serious cancer, a disease with limited
treatment
 options. The preventive part of these diseases,
such
 as chemotherapy, shows its superiority over the search for drugs.
Therefore
, promoting a healthier lifestyle and early screening can help detect the spread of the disease. It is important to balance investments in both curative and preventive measures.
While
 effective
treatment
 remains the primary goal, the values of
prevention
 strategies are increasingly important to improve public
health
. much, new investments in medicines are very important.
Although
 the cost of treating diseases can be high, effective
treatment
 is still the best. at the same time, recognizing the importance of the preventive part is critical, and viable
treatment
 methods are elusive. Striking the right balance provides comprehensive
health
 care, addressing both current
health
 problems and mitigating future risks.
Submitted by simonatkacenko on

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coherence cohesion
The essay provided by the candidate shows a basic structure with an introduction and conclusion but lacks clear paragraphs and logical structuring that guide the reader smoothly through the arguments. Transitional phrases and connectors should be employed effectively to ensure the essay flows well.
task achievement
The candidate's essay addresses the task partially, providing a general response to the prompt. However, the writer should ensure that their argument is clear and directly relevant to the question. Ideas should be fully developed and supported with specific examples or explanations.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proactive
  • preventive measures
  • lifestyle diseases
  • public health
  • healthcare expenditure
  • cost-effective
  • chronic conditions
  • early detection
  • immunization
  • health promotion
  • risk factors
  • non-communicable diseases
  • disease surveillance
  • preventive diagnostics
  • health literacy
  • universal healthcare
  • primary prevention
  • secondary prevention
  • tertiary prevention
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