Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Nowadays, much of our routine depends on
technology
. Moreover
, People
got that as benefit
to Add an article
a benefit
connect
with Change the verb form
connecting
world
. Add an article
the world
While
,
others found life became harder. Remove the comma
apply
On
my point of view, Change preposition
In
world
Add an article
the world
became
easier with modern Wrong verb form
has become
technology
, however
there are some Add a comma
however,
negative
of that Fix the agreement mistake
negatives
developing
.
Replace the word
development
Firstly
, after the pandemic of covid-19
a Add a comma
covid-19,
lot
of stores
closed forever. On the other hand
, online stores
continued their working
with Replace the word
work
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
increcsing
. Thanks to modern Correct your spelling
increasing
technology
that
made our lives easier. The major Correct your spelling
has
benefit
it is safe for people
, if another pandemic came
again, Wrong verb form
comes
people
will stay
buy from the store online, because they do not have to socialize with others which Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
make
it safer for them. Another Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
benefit
, online stores
gain worldwide customers that benefit
their stores
with high incoms
. Correct your spelling
incomes
income
For Instance
, an
Japanese online store can Change the article
a
sereve
Correct your spelling
serve
people
from Add an article
the middle
middle east
with no barriers. Correct your spelling
Middle East
Hence
, modern technology
made shopping much easier for all people
.
However
, a lot
of online shops are fake. Steelers use online shops to make money, such
as they made people
think they bought things while
there are steeling
Correct your spelling
stealing
people
’s money without receiving anything. Moreover
, some online stores
got hacked and took all the customers’ information, such
as their credit card information, location, as well as
their phone number and email to steal other information.
In conclusion, life developed a lot
and people
forced
to rely on Add a missing verb
are forced
technology
,
because everything Remove the comma
apply
is depending
on it, online shopping Wrong verb form
depends
have
a Change the verb form
has
lot
benefits, even though there are some negatives, but Add the preposition
lot of
people
have to be careful.Submitted by Fatma Alali on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear logical structure, which is essential for the reader to follow your argument seamlessly. Make sure to have a clear introduction, body paragraphs with individual ideas, and a conclusion that summarizes your main points.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but not entirely effective. The introduction should clearly introduce the topic and outline your stance. The conclusion should restate your position and summarize your main points without adding new information.
coherence cohesion
You did provide some support for your main points; however, the essay should include detailed, relevant examples for each view discussed to strengthen your argument. Aim to include specific evidence or examples that directly back up the points being made.
task achievement
The response is incomplete as the prompt requires a discussion of both views and the inclusion of your own opinion. Ensure that your essay addresses all aspects of the task. You need to present both sides of the argument and then clearly state and support your own position on the matter.
task achievement
While you have attempted to present clear and comprehensive ideas, they need to be better developed and more thoroughly explained. Ensure that your ideas are fully expanded upon with adequate elaboration in each paragraph.
task achievement
The use of relevant and specific examples is crucial in substantiating your points. The examples provided are not entirely convincing or sufficiently detailed. Aim to use clear and directly relevant examples to illustrate the arguments made in your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.