Some people think technology development decreases crime, while others believe it actually encourages crime. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
As
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
lives
in a contemporary era where Correct subject-verb agreement
live
the
Correct article usage
apply
technology
is more advanced these days, it is still unclear whether the
Correct article usage
apply
technology
increases crime or even do
the opposite. Correct subject-verb agreement
does
This
essay will examine both of
perspectives Change preposition
apply
along with
my own opinion.
To begin
with, the modernization of technology
leads to the easier application of security system
for many individuals. Fix the agreement mistake
systems
To compare
with the method in the past, security nowadays Change the verb form
Compared
do
not need to indulge Correct subject-verb agreement
does
of
Change preposition
in
humans action
to secure certain precious things and it Fix the agreement mistake
human actions
is
already proven efficient to Verb problem
has
be implemented
. Wrong verb form
implement
For instance
, it is commonly known that several houses in society already have cctv
cameras which can detect or give an alarm if there is Correct your spelling
CCTV
any
someone or something suspicious to prevent any Correct quantifier usage
apply
burglarly
activities. I can see that Correct your spelling
burglary
burglar
this
example shows that technology
efficiency is beneficially
Change the word
beneficial
facilitate
Verb problem
apply
an
Correct your spelling
and
assist
Correct subject-verb agreement
assists
to
people Change preposition
apply
on
Change preposition
in
the
society.
Correct article usage
apply
On the other hand
, there is also
an upward trend on
criminality that cannot be denied as many individuals Change preposition
in
used
Wrong verb form
use
technology
for its vessel
. Fix the agreement mistake
their vessels
The
Correct article usage
Technology
technology
development actually becomes Correct article usage
an advantages
advantages
for lawbreakers as it is Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
efforless
for them to commit wrongdoings since they acknowledge that there is a gap to be exploited from there. Correct your spelling
easier
For instance
, most of the majority of the total crimes in Indonesia come from cyber violation
where Fix the agreement mistake
violations
the
criminality Correct article usage
apply
happenned
through Correct your spelling
happens
internet
Add an article
the internet
especially
social media. Add the comma(s)
, especially
This
elaborates the
significant growth Change preposition
on the
on
Change preposition
in
technology
likely support
Fix the infinitive
to support
human
to carry out Fix the agreement mistake
humans
a
fraud.
Correct article usage
apply
To sum up
, as the
Correct article usage
apply
technology
is now advanced, its role acts like a double-edged sword where it can be both to save humans from criminality or vice versa. I strongly believe that it is indeed raising chances for people to protect themselves, however
it is Add a comma
however,
undenied
that it helps some communities implement more crimes.Replace the word
undeniable
Submitted by writingielts0 on
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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the intention to discuss both views as well as providing a clear thesis statement reflecting your own opinion.
task achievement
Make certain that all parts of the question are directly addressed, including a discussion of both viewpoints and your own opinion. Expand and support each viewpoint with detailed and specific examples.
task achievement
Strive for clarity in expressing points of view, making sure that each main idea is elaborated upon with sufficient detail and explanation.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the cohesion of the essay by incorporating a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing techniques to better link ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure paragraphs have central topic sentences and that all subsequent sentences are clearly related to the central topic of the paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion should summarize the main points discussed in the essay and reinforce the writer's opinion, while ensuring no new information is introduced.
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