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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Genetic engineering and modification techniques are becoming more advanced, raising ethical questions. What are the advantages and disadvantages of genetic modification?

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Several ethical concerns have been raised
due to
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 the evolution of genetic and cellular modification experiments. The purpose of
this
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 essay is to present their benefits, mainly related to health and product quality, and their drawbacks associated with the occurrence of mutations. On the one hand, genetically modified organisms could increase human health and food quality.
This
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 is because some cellular beings, in labs and under controlled conditions, could suffer modifications, allowing them to combat severe human diseases,
such
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 as cancer.
Additionally
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, modified fruits and vegetables could become resistant to parasites and fungi, reducing the usage of pesticides in their culture.
For instance
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, the University of São Paulo proceeds with a wide range of research about genetic modification applied to agricultural development, like increasing the levels of saccharose in sugar cane.
On the other hand
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, genetic engineering could result in severe mutations, whose effects are still unknown.
This
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 is important since these mutations may lead to new pathogenic agents, which could be potentially hazardous or lethal to humans.
Furthermore
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, the consumption of modified products could cause food intoxication or diseases on a global scale, culminating in a pandemic. To illustrate, many people claim that the COVID-19 virus was created in a laboratory,
as a result
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 of genetic engineering experiments.
To sum up
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, cellular research is getting more and more advanced these days, and ethics is one of the main issues related to it, particularly
due to
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 the disadvantages
this
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 technique may be associated with,
such
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 as mutation.
However
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, its advantages are relevant and must be taken into consideration,
such
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 as a healthier society and better quality of foods.

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task achievement
You have articulated a clear position on the advantages and disadvantages of genetic modification, which is good. However, to further increase your score for task response, ensure that you expand on each point with more developed examples and fully address the implications of each advantage and disadvantage.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a logical sequence of ideas, but there are opportunities to enhance your score for coherence and cohesion. Try using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly. Review the organization of paragraphs to ensure each has a clear main idea and is fully elaborated upon.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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