IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

If a product is good or it meets people's needs, people will buy it so advertising is unnecessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#product #people
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
 argue that if the
quality
 of a
product
 is good, and it can meet the needs of
people
,
people
 will buy it.
Therefore
, there is no need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
advertisement
. I personally disagree with
this
 viewpoint because each
product
 requires publicity to attract the attention of the customers, and the public should know what are they using. Each
product
 should be advertised properly to attract the attention of the customers. If a new
product
 comes into the
market
,
people
 should know about it, and it is only possible through
advertisement
.
For example
, if a new toothpaste gets launched in the
market
,
people
 should know about the toothpaste through the advertisements of media. If there is no
advertisement
, the new toothpaste will not be recognised by the public in the
market
, and
people
 will miss out on that good
product
. When a new
product
 gets launched in the
market
, it is necessary to let the public know what it is, and how it will meet the needs of the public. If the
product
 is useful
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and is a necessity for the public, it must be advertised properly.
Moreover
, if a
product
 does not get enough publicity, the public will not know what are they using, why the
quality
 of the
product
 is different from others, and what ingredients are used in
this
product
.
For instance
, the public in Australia knows about the good
quality
 of the Devondale butter through the
advertisement
. In conclusion, I think that each
product
 should get an
advertisement
 about its entry
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the
market
.
Moreover
, advertisements
also
 let the public know about the
quality
 of each
product
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your response addresses the task effectively by presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant arguments. However, to strengthen your task achievement further, consider including an additional counterargument before refuting it. This will showcase a balanced understanding of the topic and enhance the depth of your analysis.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. Use transitional phrases more consistently to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Additionally, it may help to combine some shorter sentences to avoid choppiness and improve the natural flow of your writing.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear and structured introduction and conclusion, which frames your essay well.
task achievement
Your main points are well-supported with specific examples, making your arguments compelling and relevant.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, demonstrating a solid understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: