Influence of human beings on the world ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of biodiversity. What are the primary causes of loss of bio diversity? What solution can you suggest.

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The extinction of species and loss of biodiversity is significantly influenced by human activities.

This

drawback is caused by overpopulation, deforestation and the mining industry.

This

essay will explore

this

phenomenon and propose possible solutions to alleviate its negative impacts.

To begin

with, high birth rates in some developing countries contribute to rapid population growth,

hence

human needs for energy resources increased. Overpopulation

also

creates more pollution

such

as air pollution from vehicles which causes global warming that affects the earth's temperature.

Additionally

, excessive logging destroys the ecosystem in some areas.

For instance

, the existence of Orangutans in Borneo is threatened by illegal logging in their habitat.

Furthermore

, the demand for coal production in the mining commerce to generate electricity

also

has a negative impact on the environment. The mining industry caused water pollution by realising metal-contaminated water to the surface or underground, lowering the pH of water.

However

, there are three effective solutions to tackle

this

problem.

Firstly

, promoting family planning measures and raising awareness about the implications of rapid population growth can help stabilize birth rates.

Secondly

, it is crucial to prioritize sustainable development in the combustion engine with fuel-cell technology.

This

technology is being developed right across the automotive industry and is expected to have a major impact in slowing down climate change.

Lastly

, the government must take strict policies on the mining corporations to minimize the negative impact on the ecosystem. In conclusion, it is challenging to prevent

this

issue. By implementing population control measures, investing in the development of green energy, and establishing strict regulations on mining management, we can effectively reduce

this

problem.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Thu Jan 18 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to directly address all parts of the question consistently throughout the essay. The introduction can more explicitly mention the main causes and solutions to avoid any ambiguity.

coherence cohesion

Use a wider range of cohesive devices and topic sentences for each paragraph to enhance the flow and structure of the essay.

task achievement

Provide specific, real-world examples to support your points, as this makes your arguments more convincing and relevant to the question.

coherence cohesion

Be cautious of grammatical errors and work on sentence complexity to create more nuanced arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Influence of human beings on the world ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of biodiversity. What are the primary causes of loss of bio diversity? What solution can you suggest.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree?

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions . Do you agree or disagree?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays, it is becoming more popular to see animals to be kept in captivity, for instance, the zoo Do the advantage of keeping animal in the zoo outweight the disadvantage?