many people work long hours, leaving very lite tire for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is important to have a pastime

besides

Linking Words

working. A myriad of people work hard and do not dedicate any time

for

Change preposition

show examples

rest.

This

Linking Words

essay will look at the disadvantages of working overtime, and I firmly believe the result of

this

Linking Words

kind of living, brings us nothing but disadvantages. Many individuals are working hard without any time for entertainment. In fact, If someone works and does not have proper rest, his mental health suffers.

Moreover

Linking Words

, our brains not

merely

Rephrase

only

show examples

need to get rid of the daily routines but

also

Linking Words

need to do something for fun. To bring more credit to

this

Linking Words

argument, I should draw your attention to the research of MIT University which shows our wisdom will be suffered after 2 weeks without any leisure activities. Needless to say, more serious consequences are considerable in the long term. Some people become workaholics. Indeed, they are working as much as possible and take no practical rest.

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

way of living is bringing them nothing but more distance between them and their families.

Similarly

Linking Words

, their kids find themselves with a lack of emotional support and

this

Linking Words

leads them to keep their distance from their work-addicted parents. I believe that it is possible for each of us to become a workaholic one day,

hence

Linking Words

it is important to evaluate ourselves, every now and

then

Linking Words

, with the appropriate gauges to predict ourselves from being a workaholic. In conclusion, the consequences of working hard with no pastime on the body are undeniable, and it is each person's responsibility to be considerate of his mental health and have some time for his pleasure activities. I think we should be

preventive

Correct word choice

aware

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the disadvantages of being a workaholic.

aliFri Jan 26 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure that each body paragraph has a clear main point, and that it is elaborated with specific examples or evidence to support your argument. While the essay touches on the drawbacks of working too much, providing concrete examples or statistics would strengthen your position.

coherence & cohesion

Connect your ideas more effectively with a variety of cohesive devices, such as transition words and phrases. This will help to guide the reader through the argument in a more fluid way. Currently, there are some abrupt transitions between points.

task achievement

Remember to directly address the question by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages if asked, as the task requires a balanced discussion to be fully satisfied. Make sure your essay explicitly examines both sides to meet the task requirements.

coherence & cohesion

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Work-life balance
Career advancement
Burnout
Stress management
Quality of life
Efficiency
Family bonds
Social interactions
Financial goals
Cultural norms
Flexible working hours
Job sharing
Time management
Workation
Productivity

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
some experts believe for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.Do the advantages of learning a foreign language at an early age outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays,learning a foreign vocabulary is essential in the modern education system. While others think it is not beneficial to teach young children a foreign accent as the benefits of it are uncertain. Some people strongly believe that it has more advantages than the disadvantages.
7
band
A friend of yours is thinking about applying for the same course that you did at university, He/She has asked for your advice about studying this subject. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter give details of the course you took at the university explain why you recommend the university give some advice about how to apply
I hope this letter finds you healthy and wealthy. I'm writing with regard to your interest in taking the medical course at Tehran University.
6.5
band
Many young people leave their own countries to work abroad. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working abroad and give your own opinion
Working as a worship and finding a job today has become a kind of miracle. So many young people are seeking work opportunities in new places and leaving their families and friends, It is true respecting family cohesion and lasting friendships is important, and perceiving them becomes rare. However, there are lots of advantages of working in faraway places. Anyway, I will try to illustrate both sides.
7
band
Your photograph recently won a photography competition and will be shown in an exhibition. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter •describe the photograph you sent to the competition •tell him/her about the exhibition where your photo will be shown •invite him/her to the exhibition
I am writing this letter with regard to share my happiness with you and inviting you to be a part of my success story.
6.5
band
The number of students studying science at university is constantly declining. What do you think are the causes? What effects will this have on our society?
It is undoubtedly true that territory education is a fundamental need for everyone throughout the world. It is the one of aspects that helps the country to lead economically. However, It is undeniable concept that due to some causes the counting of admission in the science domain decreases at the university level. So, I will try to exhibit some of its causes and how it on the country in the upcoming paragraphs.

many people work long hours, leaving very lite tire for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

some experts believe for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.Do the advantages of learning a foreign language at an early age outweigh the disadvantages?

Many young people leave their own countries to work abroad. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working abroad and give your own opinion

Your photograph recently won a photography competition and will be shown in an exhibition. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter •describe the photograph you sent to the competition •tell him/her about the exhibition where your photo will be shown •invite him/her to the exhibition

The number of students studying science at university is constantly declining. What do you think are the causes? What effects will this have on our society?