We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree

The recent decade has changed our daily routines turbulently
due to
internet development and its prominence.
While
there are an immense number of advantages like permanent connection with family or friends, doing a job digitally and searching for any information still, some people believe that because of a lack of security, its benefits have outweighed with disadvantages. I strongly disagree with them for two reasons: cybersecurity now is at the highest level and you can secure your information safely and there are some protected apps where you can keep your details confidently.
Firstly
, in our contemporary world, it has become essential to keep up with new technological updates like IOS 18 that programmers suggest,
consequently
, you would not be at risk of information hacking.
Additionally
, if you have a business which requires more powerful protection you can hire IT secure professionals who will ensure your business’s privacy and guarding.
Moreover
, software developers created software like Instagram which is safer to use than Messenger for sending pictures
due to
numerous choices of sending pictures type. If you truly care about your privacy it is crucial to raise your awareness about some specific system, its aim and security. If I had some personal picture to send I would definitely choose Instagram.
To sum up
, I assume that the advantages mentioned above like connection, digital jobs and studies have outweighed online crimes that become frequent.
However
,
this
situation can be controlled by IT professionals and more protected computer programs which software developers can suggest.
Submitted by sesili.kasrashvili7 on

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Structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that align well with each other.
Content
The essay addresses different aspects of the topic and presents arguments both for and against.
Language
The use of technology-related terminology adds relevance and context to your discussion.

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • digital banking
  • cybersecurity
  • data protection
  • security breaches
  • cyber attacks
  • online transactions
  • digital divide
  • surveillance
  • freedom of information
  • responsible usage
  • ethical considerations
  • digital footprints
  • online behavior
  • information inequality
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