Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Rapid technology has allowed many new inventions to be produced with no exception of

health

Add an article

the health

show examples

industry

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

there is an increasing trend where society

choose

Correct subject-verb agreement

chooses

show examples

to visit

alternatives option

Fix the agreement mistake

alternative options

show examples

over professional doctors as it is far cheaper in some cases.

However

, in my view,

this

can be perceived as a negative trend

due to

the two reasons that

Change the capitalization

show examples

will explain in

Correct your spelling

the

following paragraphs.

Firstly

, going to an alternative

treatments

Change the noun form

treatment

show examples

option can lead to malpractice.

This

is because many of the

alternatives practitioner

Fix the agreement mistake

alternative practitioners

show examples

did not attend any formal education nor have a requisite knowledge about anything

that is

related to medical science

whereas

doctors need to follow a long journey to

finally

become a

specalist

Correct your spelling

specialist

. Take a look at Indonesia, where

alternatives

are dominantly occupied by religious individuals who

offers

Correct subject-verb agreement

offer

show examples

spiritual experience of

treatement

Correct your spelling

treatment

Hence

, trusting

alternatives

that claim can cure many

kind

Change to a plural noun

kinds

show examples

of illnesses sounds extremely irrelevant in

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

there is likely a chance for the result to

come

Verb problem

become

show examples

worse, especially when curing patients with special and rare cases

such

as cancer.

Secondly

, account for the side effects given

from

Change preposition

show examples

the incorrect measurements of

drugs

from informal institutions. Usually,

alternatives

Change the noun form

alternative

show examples

practitioners

offers

Change the verb form

offer

show examples

one-for-all medicines without customizing each of the

patiens

Correct your spelling

patients

patient

needs.

Moreover

, the

drugs

that

Change the verb form

are

show examples

used

also

mostly

containing of

Wrong verb form

contain

show examples

herbs with questionably proven certification.

Hence

, without

Remove the article

apply

show examples

careful guidance by professionals may cause to

complecatioin

Correct your spelling

completion

of overusing

drugs

To conclude

, considering how complex any worst cases may occur from death threats to

drugs

Change the noun form

drug

show examples

overconsumption, which

caused

Add a missing verb

is caused

show examples

by untrustworthy institutions seems to make

this

trend

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a negative development.

Hence

, people need to think wisely that nothing

Add a missing verb

is more

show examples

imporant

Correct your spelling

important

than the worth of healthiness before visiting

alternatives

Submitted by pink panther on Thu Jan 18 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure that you address the prompt fully by discussing both sides of the argument or by providing a complex and thorough explanation for your one-sided stance.

coherence cohesion

Use a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to improve the flow and connections between sentences and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Work on paragraph structure. Each paragraph should contain one main idea that is developed and elaborated on.

task achievement

Support your arguments with more detailed and specific examples to strengthen your position and make it more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Consider rephrasing sentences that are awkward or unclear to improve readability and avoid misinterpretation.

coherence cohesion

Check for and correct grammatical errors and typos to enhance the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

alternative medicines
treatments
positive development
negative development
health problems
usual doctor
access
personalized approach
holistic well-being
lack of regulation
evidence-based research
proper medical treatment

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Some people think that computer games can be detrimental for children's health. Others think that they can be great for education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is argued by some that playing computer games can have harmful consequences on children's health, while there are others who believe that computer games are beneficial in terms of education. In my opinion, I believe that computer games can badly affect children's eyesight and encourage a sedentary lifestyle, whereas different computer games can help children learn and practice a new language.
5
band
Most countries spend large amounts of money on weapons to defend themselves though they are not at war. Some believe those countries should spend the money to help poor countries. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?
A school of thought holds that governments should allocate money to help underdeveloped nations instead of spending on boosting their military prowess because they are not facing imminent threat of war. In my opinion, I agree with this view.
8
band
In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?
There are a variety of benefits of the Industrial Revolution, but there are many negative effects, especially the decline of animals and plants in some parts of the world. This essay will discuss why this phenomenon is happening and what could be done to solve it.
7.5
band
Please elaborate on your current physical and mental health, including any dental or oral treatment, medical interventions, and mental health therapy or counseling. *
I am lucky enough to have grown up in a family prioritising health over anything. My mother taught me about oral hygiene awareness from an early age. Because of that, I never had severe dental issues in my life. She also likes to ensure we have enough fruit and vitamin stocks at home. Nonetheless, my father is conscious of the importance of physical activity and always reminds me to exercise regularly in order to maintain my physical condition. In our leisure time, my family likes to train together. However, in my early years of medical school, I could not exercise regularly due to the strict academic timetable. Sometimes, I also eat outside and ignore the food’s nutrition. Unfortunately, I caught a gastrointestinal infection right in the week of my clinical skills assessment, which is essential for my grade. The doctor’s examination shows I am severely dehydrated and need an intravenous infusion. That was my first time getting an infusion since I have never been hospitalised except...
5
band
Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Currently, technology has advanced so much to an extent that it has lead to effects to how individuals interact with one another. Although internet has increased isolation among people, I strongly believe that it has lead to positive development due to the fact that it strengthen binding.

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that computer games can be detrimental for children's health. Others think that they can be great for education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Most countries spend large amounts of money on weapons to defend themselves though they are not at war. Some believe those countries should spend the money to help poor countries. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

Please elaborate on your current physical and mental health, including any dental or oral treatment, medical interventions, and mental health therapy or counseling. *