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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #message
Children
 are just like a blank canvas, which will be able to get influenced by their surroundings easily.
Children
, in some cultures, get ingrained with the belief that by trying hard enough, they will be able to achieve anything in life.
While
this
 can get them motivated, some backlash
such
 as burnout could
also
 happen to them. Enforcing a
mindset
 to youths would be easy, as they tend not to have their own personal values and
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
 yet to a certain age of development. In
this
 case, the environment plays a big role in building their
mindset
 from the start. Telling them that they can achieve anything by trying hard, would lead them to be someone who is determined
in accomplishing
Change preposition
to accomplish
show examples
 their goals. With the support of their surroundings,
children
 who have
this
mindset
, would not be someone who could easily give up their dreams and hopes, just by a small inconvenience in their life later in the future.
However
, engraving
this
 way of thinking in their mind would not always be optimal. Some kids tend not to know their own boundaries and capabilities, which could potentially harm them in several contexts.
For example
, those who are ambitious and believe that everything could eventually be achieved
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 might experience burnout. They might feel too tired which could lead them to not function well because they do not understand their own capabilities
as a result
 of always pushing themselves to the top.
This
 could have negative impacts on their health, both physically and mentally. After all, there are some advantages and disadvantages to that
mindset
, whether
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they get motivation from it or even harmful outcomes really depends on the way their surroundings are implementing the saying to the
children
.
Submitted by anindyadewi58 on

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introduction
Ensure that your introduction fully addresses the question by including a thesis statement that clearly shows your position regarding the advantages and disadvantages.
examples
Provide at least one detailed example for each advantage and disadvantage to strengthen your argument and to give a clearer representation of your points.
structure
To improve the logical structure, create separate paragraphs for each main idea and use a range of cohesive devices to link them smoothly.
conclusion
Use a conclusion to summarise your overall position. This not only demonstrates that you have completed your response but also reinforces the ideas discussed in your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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