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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The bar chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows estimated world illiteracy rates by region and by gender for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates the number of estimated illiteracy people in six regions from the
last
Linking Words
 year, divided by gender. The rates were measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, countries with the highest illiteracy rates were Sub-Saharan Africa, Arab States and South
Asia
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in all regions, there were more
women
Use synonyms
 who could not read or write rather than
men
Use synonyms
.
Last
Linking Words
 year, South
Asia
Use synonyms
 was the most illiterate area, and the number of illiterate
women
Use synonyms
 was almost twofold
men
Use synonyms
's number (about 56% and 32%, respectively).
Moreover
Linking Words
, it was followed by Arab States, with about 53% of
women
Use synonyms
 and around 29% of
men
Use synonyms
. In Africa, illiterate females were almost 50% of the
women
Use synonyms
 population and approximately 32% of
men
Use synonyms
 were illiterate.
In contrast
Linking Words
, developed countries, Latin American/Caribbean, and East
Asia
Use synonyms
/Oceania showed big differences, in which almost all of the population was literate. In developed countries, the level of illiteracy was close to zero.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
here
Correct your spelling
there
show examples
 were no significant dissimilarities in
men
Use synonyms
's and
women
Use synonyms
's illiterate rates in Latin America, with only around 10% of the populace. Meanwhile, illiterate
women
Use synonyms
 in East
Asia
Use synonyms
/Oceania over-doubled the
men
Use synonyms
's percentage (around 20% and 8%, respectively).

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words asia, women, men with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Illiteracy rates
  • Region
  • Gender disparity
  • Bar chart
  • Estimated
  • Summarise
  • Main features
  • Comparisons
  • Analyzing
  • Discrepancies
  • Significant
  • Pronounced
  • Speculation
  • Male
  • Female
  • Global perspective
  • Literacy
  • Educational attainment
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Cultural influences
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