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Writing Samples
Band 6

As major cities around the world are growing, so are their problems. What are these problems for young people living in cities? What are possible solutions for these problems?

#cities #world #people
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The number of
people
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 who live in big cities is constantly growing. There are many
problems
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 which young
people
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 face,
such
Linking Words
 as weak
health
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 and a high level of expenditure. Despite anything, these issues can be solved. First of all, bad ecology and contaminated water cause
health
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 issues for children.
In addition
Linking Words
, low sports activity is weakening teenagers.
In other words
Linking Words
, youth from rural areas. mostly are much stronger, because of clear air, water and a big amount of physical work which trains them a lot and supports good
health
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 conditions. One of the best solutions to these
problems
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 is increasing the number of physical training lessons in schools or making sports popularization among pupils in schools obligatory.
For example
Linking Words
, when a school has a lot of different fitness classes, parents encourage their children to visit them with the purpose of useful time spending
instead
Linking Words
 of wasting time on social nets.
Secondly
Linking Words
, high expenditures in big cities
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 a real problem for young
people
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 when they start their adult life. They have no possibility to buy a place for living because it requires them to take big loans which they will pay for several decades.
This
Linking Words
 is why family life for urban
people
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 starts later and they have fewer children than young
people
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 in rural places.
The
Correct article usage
A
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 guaranteed workplace after studying in college or University can be the best solution for
this
Linking Words
 problem. But in
this
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 case, the Educational Ministry should collaborate with potential future employers.
For example
Linking Words
, in Germany, young
people
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 who have an education know what kind of job and income they will have after their graduation.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 makes them confident in
a
Change the word
their
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 future life.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the bigger the city is, than bigger
problems
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 face young
people
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.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
problems
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 as poor
health
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 and high money spending in urban areas can be resolved by the popularisation of fitness activities and providing well-paid workplaces with the support of the Educational Ministry.
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coherence cohesion
To improve in terms of coherence and cohesion, ensure your essay has a clear and logical flow from one idea to the next. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and maintain cohesion throughout. Additionally, develop your supporting points more thoroughly to enhance the interconnectedness of your essay.
task achievement
When addressing the task, aim to fully develop all parts of the prompt. While you have addressed both problems and solutions, expanding on these and including more specific examples would enhance task achievement. Make sure that your response is comprehensive and shows a clear understanding of the prompt.
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