Some people believe that elderly parents ought to live at senior homes. Others believe that they should live with family members(blood relatives). Do you agree or disagree?

#people #parents #homes #members #blood #relatives

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It is widely believed that old people have to stay in senior homes

instead

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of living with their own family. Personally, I can neither completely agree nor disagree with

this

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statement for a variety of reasons. I partly agree that nursing houses have a variety of services to support and comfort the elderly who definitely need the most assistance on a daily basis. One of the main reasons can be that their health is not as excellent as when they were young, so medical services are always necessary for them.

For instance

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, my father could lift a 100 kg parcel from the ground floor to the second storey of my house when he was about 35 years old.

However

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, at the current age of 60,

this

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becomes a miracle as he finds it difficult to move upstairs because of his diabetes .

Thus

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, he has to see doctors every month to control the chronic disease. Another reason can be that a nursing home is a suitable place for seniors to communicate and have quality time with their peers

while

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their offspring are too busy with job development.

On the other hand

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, I disagree with the viewpoint that senior citizens ought to live in senior homes.

This

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is because there is no place in the world

that is

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better than their home. The fact is that everyone prefers their family's care rather than outsourcing caretakers who will not fully understand their habits

as well as

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characters to adapt to all the requirements.

Furthermore

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, quality time with family is

also

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a mental support for old folk at the age of not having many things to do every day.

For example

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, my mom who did not like travelling turned to a different woman now since she always joins family outings and tends to be addicted to them. She said that there is nothing more precious than being with her daughters and nephews. In conclusion,

although

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nursing home provides a wide range of advantages for seniors, I'm convinced that staying with family is always the best choice for them.

Submitted by yeshomeclass on Fri Jan 19 2024

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Task Response

Your essay presents a clear position throughout the response with a balanced view, but ensure that you explicitly state your opinion in the conclusion to enhance the clarity of your stance.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on providing clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your main points.

Task Achievement

Develop your main points by expanding your arguments and exploring the implications or consequences to a deeper level to improve task achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion

Make use of a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing techniques to enhance the logical organization and flow of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

345 words

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Include an introduction and conclusion

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some people believe that students should learn science subjects at schools while others believe that other subjects like history is also beneficial for them discuss both views