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Band 8

Some people believe that elderly parents ought to live at senior homes. Others believe that they should live with family members(blood relatives). Do you agree or disagree?

#people #parents #homes #members #blood #relatives
It is widely believed that old people have to stay in senior homes
instead
 of living with their own family. Personally, I can neither completely agree nor disagree with
this
 statement for a variety of reasons. I partly agree that nursing houses have a variety of services to support and comfort the elderly who definitely need the most assistance on a daily basis. One of the main reasons can be that their health is not as excellent as when they were young, so medical services are always necessary for them.
For instance
, my father could lift a 100 kg parcel from the ground floor to the second storey of my house when he was about 35 years old.
However
, at the current age of 60,
this
 becomes a miracle as he finds it difficult to move upstairs because of his diabetes .
Thus
, he has to see doctors every month to control the chronic disease. Another reason can be that a nursing home is a suitable place for seniors to communicate and have quality time with their peers
while
 their offspring are too busy with job development.
On the other hand
, I disagree with the viewpoint that senior citizens ought to live in senior homes.
This
 is because there is no place in the world
that is
 better than their home. The fact is that everyone prefers their family's care rather than outsourcing caretakers who will not fully understand their habits
as well as
 characters to adapt to all the requirements.
Furthermore
, quality time with family is
also
 a mental support for old folk at the age of not having many things to do every day.
For example
, my mom who did not like travelling turned to a different woman now since she always joins family outings and tends to be addicted to them. She said that there is nothing more precious than being with her daughters and nephews. In conclusion,
although
 nursing home provides a wide range of advantages for seniors, I'm convinced that staying with family is always the best choice for them.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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Task Response
Your essay presents a clear position throughout the response with a balanced view, but ensure that you explicitly state your opinion in the conclusion to enhance the clarity of your stance.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on providing clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your main points.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points by expanding your arguments and exploring the implications or consequences to a deeper level to improve task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make use of a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing techniques to enhance the logical organization and flow of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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