Should children be encouraged to be competitive in sports and other activities? Or is it better to learn the benefits of co-operating with other people? Discuss both these view and give your own answer.

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Should the

kids

Use synonyms

be asked to be more competitive in

sports

Use synonyms

and other activities? or be taught about the pros of teamwork?

However

Linking Words

, I believe these arguments are related to each other because they can not stand alone. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will highlight both views and give my perspective

further

Linking Words

. On the one hand, being more competitive in

sports

Use synonyms

allows

children

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to improve independence and confidence.

This

Linking Words

is because they will grow up and be alone someday,

hence

Linking Words

kids

Use synonyms

have to learn how to stand up for themself and realize that the world may not be what they expected.

Sports

Use synonyms

can bring these lessons to them, they will fight their opponents and should become stronger in order to win it.

For example

Linking Words

, Taekwondo, which is one of the popular martial arts, teaches their students to focus on strengthening their legs.

Thus

Linking Words

, the stronger the leg they have, the higher the probability they will win the fight. It shows how

sports

Use synonyms

can help the

kids

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to survive in

this

Linking Words

cruel world.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, learning the benefits of teamwork is

also

Linking Words

important. The more the

children

Use synonyms

know about the pros of co-operating with others, will be eager the

children

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to increase the level of competitiveness they have. They will

also

Linking Words

understand how to compete the right way, not cheating or else.

For instance

Linking Words

, a recent study shows that the

kids

Use synonyms

who study the pros of co-operating have higher chances to become successful in life. In summary, either encouraging

kids

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to be competitive in

sports

Use synonyms

or teaching them the benefits of teamwork have the same results, which is to prepare

kids

Use synonyms

to survive the real world when they grow up.

To sum up

Linking Words

, I believe these views should not be seen as an argument, yet, they should be considered to be combined as a lesson to the

children

Use synonyms

dorimaSun Jan 26 2025

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task achievement

Try to develop your ideas more fully in each paragraph. Adding more details and examples can enhance clarity and depth.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the transitions between paragraphs to ensure smoother flow of ideas.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clearly present and effectively outline your perspective.

task achievement

You cover both views on the topic, showing an understanding of the task requirements.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

308 words

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Many people think that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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