Should children be encouraged to be competitive in sports and other activities? Or is it better to learn the benefits of co-operating with other people? Discuss both these view and give your own answer.

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Should the
kids
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be asked to be more competitive in
sports
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and other activities? or be taught about the pros of teamwork?
However
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, I believe these arguments are related to each other because they can not stand alone. In
this
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essay, I will highlight both views and give my perspective
further
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. On the one hand, being more competitive in
sports
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allows
children
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to improve independence and confidence.
This
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is because they will grow up and be alone someday,
hence
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,
kids
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have to learn how to stand up for themself and realize that the world may not be what they expected.
Sports
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can bring these lessons to them, they will fight their opponents and should become stronger in order to win it.
For example
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, Taekwondo, which is one of the popular martial arts, teaches their students to focus on strengthening their legs.
Thus
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, the stronger the leg they have, the higher the probability they will win the fight. It shows how
sports
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can help the
kids
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to survive in
this
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cruel world.
On the other hand
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, learning the benefits of teamwork is
also
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important. The more the
children
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know about the pros of co-operating with others, will be eager the
children
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to increase the level of competitiveness they have. They will
also
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understand how to compete the right way, not cheating or else.
For instance
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, a recent study shows that the
kids
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who study the pros of co-operating have higher chances to become successful in life. In summary, either encouraging
kids
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to be competitive in
sports
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or teaching them the benefits of teamwork have the same results, which is to prepare
kids
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to survive the real world when they grow up.
To sum up
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, I believe these views should not be seen as an argument, yet, they should be considered to be combined as a lesson to the
children
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.
Submitted by dorima on

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relevant specific examples
Work on providing more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
logical structure
Focus on maintaining a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Try using more linking words and phrases to connect your points smoothly.
supported main points
Ensure that each paragraph thoroughly supports your main arguments with relevant points and details. This will help in fully developing your main ideas.
complete response
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both views on the topic, demonstrating a well-rounded understanding of the subject matter.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is clear and effectively sets up the discussion for the rest of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The essay concludes by effectively summarizing the main points and providing a personal perspective on the issue.
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