A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Given the power and influence of the
super rich
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super-rich
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, it might seem as if social status and material possessions are the new symbols of personal worth, but in everyday life I do not think
this
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is true. It is apparent that most celebrities today are admired or envied solely for their material wealth or position in various social hierarchies. Many of these people are known to turn their backs on friends, cheat on their spouses or spend their evenings over-indulging in alcohol and/or drugs. Things like owning a mansion, driving an expensive car and getting into A-list parties are exalted above old-fashioned values. Ultimately, though, it is the many readers of gossip magazines and celebrity blogs who reinforce these ideas.
Nevertheless
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, I do believe that in their day-to-day
lives
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lives,
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most people still believe in values
such
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as honour, kindness and trust. In some
way
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way,
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most of us want to form loving families, raise our children to be good citizens, stand up for the downtrodden and protect our communities from harm. We still form friendships, romances and business partnerships based on old-fashioned criteria. When our trust is abused or we are unfairly treated, we see that as a major violation of our relationship and we judge the wrongdoer
accordingly
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. In conclusion, I believe there is some truth to the notion that status and possessions have superseded old-fashioned values as a measure of a person’s worth. Looking beyond the tabloids,
however
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, it is apparent that most ordinary people have still preserved an old-fashioned conscience.
Submitted by michellehoon0924 on

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task achievement
Ensure a balanced discussion by exploring the opposites equally; the essay leans heavily towards asserting that old-fashioned values are still important without equally discussing how materialism might affect society's judgment of personal worth.
coherence cohesion
To increase the range of cohesion devices used and improve the lexical resource, consider varying your connectives and signposting language to guide the reader more clearly through your arguments.
task achievement
Include specific examples to clarify and support your points, and consider exploring real-life scenarios where societal status and material possessions have had a significant impact on person's perceived worth.
task achievement
Clarify the examples by specifying and expanding on the 'old-fashioned conscience' that ordinary people have preserved, perhaps contrasting with specific societal trends or events which showcase the importance of values like honour, kindness, and trust.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social status
  • Material possessions
  • Old-fashioned values
  • Honour
  • Kindness
  • Trust
  • Judged
  • Importance
  • Traditional
  • Reflection
  • Achievements
  • Hard work
  • Disregarded
  • Well-balanced
  • Meaningful
  • Cultural norms
  • Societal norms
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