All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that schools should teach children skills but others think having a range of subjects is better for a children’s future. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Parents, by nature, are always curious about their
children
's tutoring, especially in school. Some parents believe that participation in practical activities will be more beneficial for their kids than just learning theoretically,
while
others see that the multiplicity of courses is favourable for their
children
's life careers. I personally believe that school students should learn various subjects rather than gaining practical skills.
This
essay will discuss both viewpoints and refer to some studies and experiences to illustrate my preference.
Firstly
, gaining proficiency provides
children
with better chances when they grow up. Proponents of
this
perspective argue that learning functional abilities increases self-confidence and creativity for teenagers which opens up a wide range of opportunities for them when they become adults, and will
also
help them in deciding what they want to be in their life.
However
, the reason for my disagreement with
this
point of view is somewhat tentative;
while
skills do play an important role in
children
's lives, they cannot be more essential than having
knowledge
on various subjects that will really support them as they grow up.
For example
, my little brother and my cousin are the same age,
while
my brother used to be in school and
then
he got into university, my cousin attended the vocational training academy, two years ago both of them graduated and they started looking for a job, in two weeks my brother had a chance to work in a company as a computer technician,
while
my cousin is still searching.
On the other hand
, students should be taught different types of science, history, literature, sports, morals, and values. Advocates for
this
standpoint emphasize that
this
will expand their
children
's mindsets to higher standards of thinking and desires,
as well as
develop their
knowledge
and mental abilities, which will eventually put them in the best
positions
at the best workplaces. I find myself agreeing with
this
opinion primarily because nowadays, high political, military, and even social
positions
require a very good education and specific
knowledge
and degrees rather than skills.
In addition
to
this
, a statistical study published at Harvard University in 2022 on how much workers are satisfied with their
positions
revealed that employees who are educated in specific majors are 90% more satisfied than craftsmen and undergraduate technicians. In conclusion,
while
professionalism does provide an upper hand for teenagers as they grow up developing it,
knowledge
and variant culture will result in a better future and opportunities. In light of the argument presented, learning different majors in schools emerges as a superior path for students, especially when considering future careers and work
positions
.
Submitted by wathiq.online22 on

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task achievement
You have presented a well-structured essay that addresses both viewpoints, as well as providing your own opinion. To further enhance your response, consider adding more specific examples and studies to support your arguments more convincingly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured and coherent. Each paragraph flows well into the next. However, some paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences to better guide the reader through your arguments.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are effectively written, clearly stating your position and summarizing the discussed points.
logical structure
The essay provides a balanced discussion by fairly considering both perspectives before giving a reasoned opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Practical skills
  • Financial literacy
  • Cognitive development
  • Critical thinking
  • Well-rounded education
  • Independence
  • Real-life situations
  • Cognitive development
  • Broader understanding
  • Ideal education system
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