Some people argue that it is not wise for an industry to replace its experienced but old workers with new and young yet inexperienced individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some believe replacing elderly individuals at the age of retirement with the young generation is not an intelligent approach for companies. To contrary
this
belief, I think change is an inevitable factor and
this
will happen sooner rather than later, so to minimize the consequences and have the best advantage of
this
action, companies should look into some answers
such
as training a suitable succession. One of the best solutions for reducing the effect of losing aged employees is training a suitable replacement. Before the old workers reach retirement age, the human resource unit of every company should train the inexperienced staff with the help of senior ones to gain some essential knowledge.
For instance
, the new ones could learn how to behave in a certain situation or learn some fundamental basics about critical thinking in a time of crisis which results in decreasing the downside of letting the skillful people go.
Furthermore
, taking risks among young adults is significantly more excessive than older ones. taking more chances by employees can bring innovation and dynamics to the mix in the working environment. Old people are usually creatures of habit and are more resistant to changes and prefer to perform in certain ways,
however
, the newly arrived recruits with open minds are more ready to make an effort and attempt things in alternative procedures even without knowing the outcomes, so taking risks can lead to having a more dynamic and thriving company. In conclusion, there are some biased judgments regarding
this
topic, but from my point of view, since change is the law of nature and it applies to everyone including humans replacing expert staff with new inexperienced individuals could be rewarding if it occurs with precise and realistic schemes
such
as training a suitable succession.
Submitted by mh.emrani on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Develop main points fully by providing specific examples and explanations. While you have provided some examples, elaborating on these with more detail and analysis will strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Cover all parts of the task by providing a balanced view or exploring different perspectives, especially if the question explicitly asks for this. Your essay should reflect a full engagement with the topic.
task achievement
Express ideas clearly and comprehensively by laying out your argument in a well-structured manner, making sure that each paragraph contains one clear main idea and is related back to the thesis statement.
task achievement
Use relevant examples to support points made, ensuring they are specific and directly related to the topic at hand. Strive to integrate them seamlessly into your argument.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • experienced
  • old workers
  • young
  • inexperienced
  • replace
  • industry
  • wise
  • argue
  • valuable
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • loss of expertise
  • lack
  • necessary
  • experience
  • maturity
  • diverse
  • workforce
  • mix
  • age groups
  • beneficial
  • focus
  • providing opportunities
  • continuous learning
  • development
  • balanced approach
  • smooth transition
  • maintain productivity
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