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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbear island between 2010 and 2017.

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbear island between 2010 and 2017.
#tourists #caribbear #island
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The given line chart provides information on the proportion of
travelers
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travellers
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 who hit
caribbear
Correct your spelling
Caribbean
island
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 in the 7-year
period
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 from 2010-2011. Units are measured in
millions
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total inflow of tourists grew over the given
period
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.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the
numbers
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number
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 of visitors who
peferred
Correct your spelling
preferred
 to stay on
cruise
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 ships and on
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island
Fix the agreement mistake
islands
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also
Linking Words
 increased. In 2010,
total
Add an article
a total
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 of
1million
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1 million
 tourists
recorded
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were recorded
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 on
caribbear
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Caribbean
island
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, from which around 0.6
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millions
Change to singular
million
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 stayed on
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cruise
Add an article
a cruise
the cruise
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ship
Fix the agreement mistake
ships
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,
wheresa
Correct your spelling
whereas
where
 0.4million on
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island
Add an article
the island
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. Afterwards, the population of immigrants in total rose over the given
periods
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period
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, reaching
3.5millions
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3.5 million
 in 2017, which was the highest of all time.
Initially
Linking Words
, Staying on
cruise
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 ships was people´s first choice over the
island
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. There was continuous growth in the percentage of people spending their holidays on
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cruise
Add an article
a cruise
the cruise
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, hereby ending the
period
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 with 1.5
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millions
Change to singular
million
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.
Coversely
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Conversely
, In
case
Correct article usage
the case
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 of
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Island
Correct article usage
the Island
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, there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 seen some fluctuations till 2012,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 there was
gradual
Correct article usage
a gradual
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increament
Correct your spelling
increase
 till the end of the
period
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. It
touches
Wrong verb form
touched
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 its peak, at 2
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millions
Change to singular
million
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, in 2017, overtaking the figure
of
Change preposition
for
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cruise
Use synonyms
 ships.
Submitted by promishtumrok654 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words island, period, millions, cruise with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 2 times.
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