IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbear island between 2010 and 2017.

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbear island between 2010 and 2017.
#tourists #caribbear #island
The given line chart provides information on the proportion of
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 who hit
caribbear
Correct your spelling
Caribbean
island
 in the 7-year
period
 from 2010-2011. Units are measured in
millions
.
Overall
, the total inflow of tourists grew over the given
period
.
Similarly
, the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of visitors who
peferred
Correct your spelling
preferred
 to stay on
cruise
 ships and on
island
Fix the agreement mistake
islands
show examples
also
 increased. In 2010,
total
Add an article
a total
show examples
 of
1million
Correct your spelling
1 million
 tourists
recorded
Add a missing verb
were recorded
show examples
 on
caribbear
Correct your spelling
Caribbean
island
, from which around 0.6
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 stayed on
cruise
Add an article
a cruise
the cruise
show examples
ship
Fix the agreement mistake
ships
show examples
,
wheresa
Correct your spelling
whereas
where
 0.4million on
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
. Afterwards, the population of immigrants in total rose over the given
periods
Fix the agreement mistake
period
show examples
, reaching
3.5millions
Correct your spelling
3.5 million
 in 2017, which was the highest of all time.
Initially
, Staying on
cruise
 ships was people´s first choice over the
island
. There was continuous growth in the percentage of people spending their holidays on
cruise
Add an article
a cruise
the cruise
show examples
, hereby ending the
period
 with 1.5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
.
Coversely
Correct your spelling
Conversely
, In
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of
Island
Correct article usage
the Island
show examples
, there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 seen some fluctuations till 2012,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 there was
gradual
Correct article usage
a gradual
show examples
increament
Correct your spelling
increase
 till the end of the
period
. It
touches
Wrong verb form
touched
show examples
 its peak, at 2
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
, in 2017, overtaking the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
cruise
 ships.
Submitted by promishtumrok654 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words island, period, millions, cruise with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: