Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Millions of

refugees

Use synonyms

have been forced to flee their

country

Use synonyms

because of war, violence or persecution. It is argued that

asylum

Use synonyms

seekers should be allowed and supported with basic aid like food and accommodation. I firmly agree with

this

Linking Words

idea because it prevents them from relentless suffering and welcoming them into developed

countries

Use synonyms

boosts the

country

Use synonyms

's economy.

To begin

Linking Words

with, Supporting

asylum

Use synonyms

seekers in rich

countries

Use synonyms

saves their precious

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

and secures them from unwanted persecution. They should be allowed to their host

countries

Use synonyms

because they enrich their local community, creating cultural diversity within the local population.

In addition

Linking Words

Refugees

Use synonyms

have never chosen to be born in conflict-affected

countries

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and like us, they too deserve a better life, a happy one.

For example

Linking Words

, thousands of Syrian

asylum

Use synonyms

seekers fled from the war and

this

Linking Words

is the reason why Germany and many European

countries

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have decided to grant thousands of

asylum

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, it is good for the

country

Use synonyms

's economy.

Refugees

Use synonyms

indeed need assistance in the beginning, but they will purchase food, take services and pay any taxes over time in the future. The

country

Use synonyms

will automatically gain more manpower and can utilize

them

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

for better productivity.

For example

Linking Words

, in

1990s

Change the article

the 1990s

show examples

according to

Linking Words

the UN refugee agency, many Bhutanese

refugees

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were forced and fled from their

country

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due to

Linking Words

protests against the Bhutanese government and now have flourishing businesses in the Jhapa district, Nepal.

To conclude

Linking Words

refugees

Use synonyms

should be welcomed with open arms and I personally believe that allowing them to wealthy nation saves innocent people's lives and enhances the economic status of the

country

Use synonyms

asmitakhatri490Fri Jan 19 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your introduction has provided a clear thesis and sets up the structure of the essay effectively. However, it's essential to include a roadmap of what to expect in the subsequent paragraphs for a better guide to the reader.

task achievement

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is expanded upon with supporting details and examples. Though your essay has done this relatively well, there could be a more explicit link back to the main question in each paragraph.

coherence cohesion

Improve the range and accuracy of your linking devices. While the essay is well-structured, variety in conjunctions and cohesive devices can enhance the flow of ideas.

task achievement

To improve the Task Achievement score, make sure that every argument effectively addresses the prompt and that your position is clear throughout the essay. Each paragraph should conclusively contribute to the overarching argument.

task achievement

Don't make general statements without backing them up with specific evidence. Providing more detailed examples will strengthen your argument and improve the relevance of your points to the thesis.

coherence cohesion

For your conclusion, restate your thesis in different words, summarize your main points and make sure it is not introducing new ideas. Your conclusion did well in emphasizing your stance but also aim for a crisp wrap-up of the points discussed.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Refugees
Asylum seekers
Humanitarian aid
Integration
Multiculturalism
Economic impact
Public services
International law
Conventions relating to the status of refugees
Labor market
Cultural enrichment
Burden-sharing
Resettlement programs
Host country
Border security
Comprehensive policy

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Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer-based technology. How do you think this will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?

A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defence but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree?

You have lost your student identification card. This has created some problems for you. Write a letter to the director of student services. In your letter advise them of your situation explain how this is affecting you request a new card

Some people say that physical education classes are an important part of a child's education. Others believe that it is more important to focus on academics during school time. discus both these views, and give your opinion.

These days Internet –based courses have become a popular alternative to University – based courses. Some students prefer this type of learning because they do not need to attend lectures. Others argue that it is important to study at university. Discuss both these views and give your opinion