Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development

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These days, self-treatments regarding various kinds of illnesses become more and more common which can lead to serious life-threatening repercussions.

Although

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it may seem that public awareness about their health conditions and self-care has improved considerably, in my view, there isn'

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any excuse to cure yourself without the supervision of any doctor. In

this

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essay, I will examine the negative side a little more and introduce my point of view.

Firstly

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, when an illness starts to notice you by some symptoms

such

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as headache, there would be lots of ailments that can appear by it and your assumptions may be wrong.

For instance

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, you may think that you have caught a cold and prescribe yourself some related tablets. What if you need some scans and there are some serious problems which a day would be important to your health conditions?

Secondly

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, there are lots of side effects with drugs or wrong diagnoses which you wouldn'

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know at first sight and they can show up in the long term.

This

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only can be prevented by practitioners.I have a vivid memory that my uncle got Covid-19 and he thought he got fine after two weeks by self-treatments and using commonly related medicines, but after a

while

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his body became more infectious which caused terminal illness. After years he still suffers from it and it doesn'

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alleviate completely. To put it in a nutshell, a wrong diagnosis or late visiting of doctors

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apply

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can cause serious side effects in the long and short terms, some of them wouldn'

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relieve at all or could suffer you for a longer time. In my view, there are not any pros to self-diagnosis and you should visit a doctor as soon as possible.

Submitted by shabnamoutokesh on Tue Jan 16 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides an overview of your perspective on the topic but does not fully address the prompt which asks for your view on whether this trend of trying alternative medicines is a positive or negative development. Ensure that all parts of the question are addressed to fulfill the task requirement.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks clear progression of ideas. Consider using a range of cohesive devices such as firstly, however, and in conclusion to indicate the structure of your argument more clearly.

task achievement

Support your main points with specific examples. The use of a personal anecdote about your uncle is a good start, but more relevant examples should be provided to substantiate your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

alternative medicines
treatments
positive development
negative development
health problems
usual doctor
access
personalized approach
holistic well-being
lack of regulation
evidence-based research
proper medical treatment

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Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many students take part-time jobs while studying in universities. Do you think it is a good idea or a bad idea?