IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that news media nowadays have infulenced people's lives in negative ways to what extent do you agree or disaggree.

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News
Use synonyms
media
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 today is regarded has negative effects on
populace's
Correct article usage
the populace's
show examples
 lives by some
people
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. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint because it sums up the cruel incidents that are happening around the world and some of them are fake,
this
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 situation is widely harming
people
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's mental health.But I
also
Linking Words
 think it has positive sides,
such
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 as improving citizens' mutual support. On the one hand,
news
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 can be spread rapidly through social
media
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 today, so almost everyone can know what happened
although
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 they are not related.
This
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 situation leads to the consequence of arousing an individual's emotions. These incidents may be far away from a person's life, but with
news
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media
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, we are all connected. In
this
Linking Words
 case, our empathy has been activated by reading the
news
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 online and feeling uncomfortable about what did not occur to us, in the meantime, we do not have the ability to change the fact and
this
Linking Words
 might cause mental issues.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is a lot of
news
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 which has not been affirmed propagating on various platforms, some of them are rumours. Since they may believed by the
people
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 who read them, they have equivalent harm to
people
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's mental heath.
However
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,
news
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media
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 have positive effects on
people
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's lives presenting on helping each other. If a new shows up on the internet, some
people
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 would pay attention to solve it.
For instance
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, in 2021, there was a woman on the
media
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 who was considered been imprisoned by a man who illegally kept her as his wife in a Chiese outpost, known as "the woman locked by chain". Through the
news
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 and video noticed by others, many
people
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 went to where she at and helped her. In conclusion, I agree that
news
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media
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 has negative influences on
people
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's lives because it may lead to mental issues, but it
also
Linking Words
 has positive effects
such
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 as
people
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 having more chances to help others.

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Balanced Argument
Ensure that both sides of the argument are equally developed; the positive aspects should be as thoroughly discussed as the negative ones.
Specific Examples
Provide more relevant, detailed examples to strengthen your points and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Counter-Arguments
Address counter-arguments to show the complexity of the issue and to make a more solid argument.
Cohesive Devices
You may use a wider range of cohesive devices to better structure your essay and guide the reader through your argument effectively.
Accuracy
Be mindful of grammatical errors and correct them, as they can occasionally hinder the clarity of your argument.
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