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Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays the diferent between countries are becoming less evident because people follow the same media. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages.

#diferent #countries #people #media #trend
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It is argued that following the similar media between the different nations is becoming less conspicuous. Notwithstanding, the culture will be assimilated apart, and
this
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 tendency has many more positives. The problem stems from the various
countries
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 watching the same channel,
this
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 leads to easy to absorb cultural assimilation and loss the cultural identity.
For example
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, young
people
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 will imitate the clothing styles of the Western
countries
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 or in making up, gradually the preserve of national customs will be disappeared. If it happens for a long time,
this
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 problem might be difficult to ignore.
Therefore
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,
people
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 especially youngsters should raise their awareness and always respect protecting the national cultural identity.
Although
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 attached to the drawbacks of
this
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 issue,
in contrast
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, the benefits have far more. On the one hand, individuals will accumulate better
information
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, avoiding distorted
information
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, and causing confusion.
For instance
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, in the combat between Russia and Ukraine, there is many real and unreal news about
this
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 war, as the result of too many media platforms giving thousands of news every day.
Consequently
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,
People
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 don’t know how to get true
information
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 and are spun around fake and true things. If following the same platform, they will gain more trust about issues happening around them, and support their belief in life.
On the other hand
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, there are many of useful knowledge that
people
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 in these
countries
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 can learn from that similar channel. Healthcare and medical help for daily life will be updated and shared commonly,
therefore
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people
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 can welcome much helpful
information
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 to take care of themselves through learning innovative medical knowledge of the Western
countries
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 or developed
countries
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. There are some benefits and drawbacks of watching the same media,
nevertheless
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, gaining many good sharing
information
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 will bring for individuals the advantages more than disadvantages of losing identity if
people
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 can keep their national pride and raise their awareness.
Submitted by kungslowjam on

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introduction
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your position on the argument. The essay should state if the advantages outweigh the disadvantages right from the start, which will give your essay a strong direction.
coherence
Provide more clear topic sentences for each paragraph which reflect the main idea you are discussing. This will help the reader understand the progression of your argument.
supporting details
Make sure that your body paragraphs are well-developed and contain specific examples that support the main ideas. This strengthens your argument and provides clarity for the reader.
cohesion
To improve the logical structure of your essay, ensure that there is a clear progression from the introduction through to the conclusion. Each paragraph should logically follow from the one before, using cohesive devices effectively to guide the reader through your arguments.
conclusion
Your conclusion should summarize the main points made within the body of the essay, clearly stating your final position. Reiterate the extent to which you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
examples
Aim to provide more detailed examples that are directly relevant to the topic. These examples should clearly illustrate the arguments you are making and help to explain the trends or issues you are discussing.
task response
For task achievement, make sure that you are directly answering the question throughout your essay. Each paragraph should contribute to stating if you believe the advantages do outweigh the disadvantages, with clear reasoning to back up your position.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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