Some people believe that having sports in schools is a waste of time and resources, while others believe that sports in school are a vital part of education. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion
So many people believe that the main goal of going to school is to study different theoretical subjects and master them. They claim that playing
sports
is a waste of time. I completely disagree with this
belief because the benefits of playing sports
are vast. In this
essay, I am going to explain why playing sport is important.
Fitness is one of the potential benefits of playing sports
. In recent years, most of us including children have sedentary
lifestyles Add a missing verb
had sedentary
due to
the recent living facilities, therefore
, it is very important that the schools
offer a wide range of physical activities so that, the students
can benefit from those. In other words
, schools
can play a significant role in keeping students
fit and healthy. Another potential benefit is that, due to
the different physical activities that schools
provide, pupils will be able to follow a field that are interested in in the future.
On the other hand
, it should be kept in mind that students
have different intellectual capacities. Thus
, educational institutions ought to provide various subjects and sports
courses to allow each individual student to discover his talent. For example
, some students
perform much better in a team setting and playing in a team will develop their strengths. Moreover
, the role of playing in learning new subjects and some social skills is undeniable.
To summarize, based on what is discussed above, the importance of playing sports
and physical activities is undeniable accordingly
, all schools
should consider this
in their every-year curriculum.Submitted by bryan.dasco on
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Task Achievement
You've made a strong argument for the importance of sports in schools by showcasing both the physical and mental benefits. To elevate your task achievement score further, incorporating more specific examples or studies could solidify your arguments even more compellingly.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay shows a good logical structure with clear paragraphs each dedicated to a specific point. To improve, consider enhancing the linking of your ideas with more varied transitional phrases to ensure smoother flow between them.
Introduction/Conclusion Precision
While your introduction and conclusion are present and effectively bookend your discussion, refining your thesis statement and concluding remarks to more sharply encapsulate your stance could provide a more potent impact on readers.
Content
The essay effectively discusses the importance of sports in schools, presenting a clear and engaging argument.
Use of Examples
Your use of examples and emphasis on fitness and team skills development enhances the essay's argumentative depth.
Logical Structure
The structure of your essay, with distinct sections for each point of discussion, aids in the reader's comprehension.