Some people believe that having sports in schools is a waste of time and resources, while others believe that sports in school are a vital part of education. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion

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So many people believe that the main goal of going to school is to study different theoretical subjects and master them. They claim that playing

sports

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is a waste of time. I completely disagree with

this

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belief because the benefits of playing

sports

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are vast. In

this

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essay, I am going to explain why playing sport is important. Fitness is one of the potential benefits of playing

sports

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. In recent years, most of us including children have

sedentary

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had sedentary

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lifestyles

due to

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the recent living facilities,

therefore

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, it is very important that the

schools

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offer a wide range of physical activities so that, the

students

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can benefit from those.

In other words

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schools

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can play a significant role in keeping

students

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fit and healthy. Another potential benefit is that,

due to

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the different physical activities that

schools

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provide, pupils will be able to follow a field that are interested in in the future.

On the other hand

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, it should be kept in mind that

students

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have different intellectual capacities.

Thus

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, educational institutions ought to provide various subjects and

sports

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courses to allow each individual student to discover his talent.

For example

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, some

students

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perform much better in a team setting and playing in a team will develop their strengths.

Moreover

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, the role of playing in learning new subjects and some social skills is undeniable. To summarize, based on what is discussed above, the importance of playing

sports

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and physical activities is undeniable

accordingly

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, all

schools

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should consider

this

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in their every-year curriculum.

bryan.dascoFri Apr 12 2024

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Task Achievement

You've made a strong argument for the importance of sports in schools by showcasing both the physical and mental benefits. To elevate your task achievement score further, incorporating more specific examples or studies could solidify your arguments even more compellingly.

Coherence and Cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, your essay shows a good logical structure with clear paragraphs each dedicated to a specific point. To improve, consider enhancing the linking of your ideas with more varied transitional phrases to ensure smoother flow between them.

Introduction/Conclusion Precision

While your introduction and conclusion are present and effectively bookend your discussion, refining your thesis statement and concluding remarks to more sharply encapsulate your stance could provide a more potent impact on readers.

Content

The essay effectively discusses the importance of sports in schools, presenting a clear and engaging argument.

Use of Examples

Your use of examples and emphasis on fitness and team skills development enhances the essay's argumentative depth.

Logical Structure

The structure of your essay, with distinct sections for each point of discussion, aids in the reader's comprehension.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Physical development
Overall health improvement
Life skills
Teamwork
Leadership
Dealing with failure
Managing stress
Academic performance
School spirit
Strain school budgets
Sports-related injuries
Essential subjects and activities

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