Topic: Many doctors are concerned about the high use of computer games by children and young people. Task: what are the advantages and disadvantages of children playing computer games?

As the incorporation of technology and entertainment is beginning to advance, children and adolescents are spending a questionable amount of hours playing computer games.
For
this
reason, numerous health professionals have expressed their concerns about the impacts it may have.
This
essay will assess the benefits and drawbacks of gaming on younger people
as well as
delve into how it can possibly enrich children's skills and temper with their perspective of the world at once. Playing can be considered a part of a learning process
that is
advantageous and necessary for a child's brain development.
Moreover
, it can enhance one's competency in critical thinking and problem-solving. In fact, many computer-based entertainment are designed to offer players intriguing experiences that can only be materialised in games.
Therefore
, it has a crucial role in helping young people's mental growth so that they are able to tackle realistic obstacles in life later on. Despite these advantages, there is evidence that overdoing
this
activity can yield undesirable results,
such
as failure in time management and abandonment of priorities.
Furthermore
, some gamers are beginning to show signs of being too attached to their gaming devices, including computers. As a matter of fact, a lot of them refuse to ascertain their actual responsibilities and choose to utterly abandon them
instead
. Undeniably, gaming can eventually contribute to the downfall of young people's futures in the long run.
To sum up
, gaming can be a useful and recreational activity for the players' self-improvement, yet may
also
harm their sense of time and priority. That being said, it is a double-ended sword, which has both its upsides and downsides.
Nonetheless
, to reduce
further
risk, I suggest a collaboration between the government and parents to decide to what extent can games provide entertainment and education for today's young generation.
Submitted by writingielts0 on

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Task Achievement
Make sure to discuss both advantages and disadvantages equally. Focus on expanding your supporting arguments with specific examples for both sides to strengthen your points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve your essay by adding more transitional phrases and signposting language to guide the reader through your argument more clearly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion encapsulate the main points of your argument effectively. You may consider restating the key advantages and disadvantages in your conclusion for greater impact.
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