Some parents buy their children a lot of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for children who have a lot of toys?

#parents #children #toys

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Nowadays many

parents

give their

children

excessive

toys

, in

this

essay I will describe the advantages and disadvantages for

children

who have many

toys

. Surely all

parents

love their

children

with

Correct word choice

and with

show examples

this

love they are willing to give their

children

many

toys

, whether it is to please their

children

or help their

children

Verb problem

apply

show examples

learn. I think

this

is very okay to do by

parents

out there but it must be with supervision. I think the advantage of giving

children

a lot of

toys

is that

children

can explore the various shapes and textures of their

toys

Like there

Change preposition

There

show examples

are

toys

that have a soft texture when held and some are hard.

This

allows

children

to recognize and learn various textures. There are

also

toys

that are round, triangular, or square.

This

can make

children

learn about various shapes. And there are

also

lego

Capitalize word

Lego

show examples

toys

, which make

children

have to think critically in order to put together various pieces of

lego

Capitalize word

Lego

show examples

to form a building. From the many advantages that are given when

children

have many

toys

, there are

also

many disadvantages that can be obtained if

children

have many

toys

For example

, when

children

are comfortable with their

toys

, they no longer want to go outside to play with their friends.

This

can make

children

become unsociable and anti-social. Where

this

will be very detrimental to the child as an adult.

Therefore

, it is better to give

children

toys

that are not too excessive and

according to

their portion is the best choice that

parents

can choose

Submitted by zefanyagyu on Sat Jan 20 2024

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Task Achievement

To enhance task achievement, ensure that you address both parts of the task fully. Here, you could expand more specifically on the disadvantages to provide a more balanced response.

Coherence & Cohesion

Provide more distinct and clear topic sentences for each body paragraph to improve the logical structure.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly and enhance the flow of the essay.

Task Achievement

Incorporate specific examples to support your main points, which helps to make your arguments more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

258 words

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Some parents buy their children a lot of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for children who have a lot of toys?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think paying taxes is a big enough contribution to their society, while others think people have more responsibilities as members of society than only paying taxes. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us yo buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other type of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree

Some educationists think that international exchange visits will benefit the teenagers at the school. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

In the future all cars, busses and trucks will be driveless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?