Some parents buy their children a lot of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for children who have a lot of toys?

#parents #children #toys

Nowadays many

parents

give their

children

excessive

toys

, in

this

essay I will describe the advantages and disadvantages for

children

who have many

toys

. Surely all

parents

love their

children

with

Correct word choice

and with

show examples

this

love they are willing to give their

children

many

toys

, whether it is to please their

children

or help their

children

Verb problem

apply

show examples

learn. I think

this

is very okay to do by

parents

out there but it must be with supervision. I think the advantage of giving

children

a lot of

toys

is that

children

can explore the various shapes and textures of their

toys

Like there

Change preposition

There

show examples

are

toys

that have a soft texture when held and some are hard.

This

allows

children

to recognize and learn various textures. There are

also

toys

that are round, triangular, or square.

This

can make

children

learn about various shapes. And there are

also

lego

Capitalize word

Lego

show examples

toys

, which make

children

have to think critically in order to put together various pieces of

lego

Capitalize word

Lego

show examples

to form a building. From the many advantages that are given when

children

have many

toys

, there are

also

many disadvantages that can be obtained if

children

have many

toys

For example

, when

children

are comfortable with their

toys

, they no longer want to go outside to play with their friends.

This

can make

children

become unsociable and anti-social. Where

this

will be very detrimental to the child as an adult.

Therefore

, it is better to give

children

toys

that are not too excessive and

according to

their portion is the best choice that

parents

can choose

Submitted by zefanyagyu on Sat Jan 20 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

To enhance task achievement, ensure that you address both parts of the task fully. Here, you could expand more specifically on the disadvantages to provide a more balanced response.

Coherence & Cohesion

Provide more distinct and clear topic sentences for each body paragraph to improve the logical structure.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly and enhance the flow of the essay.

Task Achievement

Incorporate specific examples to support your main points, which helps to make your arguments more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Increasing the price of petrol is the only way to solve environmental problems. Do you agree or disagree?
It is sometimes argued that increasing petroleum prices is the only measurement to decrease environmental issues. Although this can help reduce the problem, I strongly believe that there are many ways to tackle environmental issues such as educating people about habitat issues and applying regulations on individuals and companies.
5
band
In some cities, public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own food and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In several cities, public parks and open spaces are being transformed become gardens. So, local people can plant their fruits and vegetables. By doing this, people do not have spaces anymore to use it in a right way. Not only that, but also public parks is not suitable to growing food. Because of that, the drawbacks are more outweigh than the merits.
6
band
Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, think that school is the place to learn it. Discuss both views?
In recent times, children-related education and teaching have sparked heated debates about whether it is parents’ responsibility to teach their kids how to be useful people in society or whether schools are obligated to accomplish this of paramount importance mission. Thus the various opinions are split down in the middle, based on the aforementioned issue. In this essay, both camps of this argument will be analyzed before a legitimate conclusion is reached
4.5
band
Children brought up in families with less money are better prepared for life than those from wealthy families. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
I do agree to the statement that children brought up in poor families are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents.
5
band
In most countries, with the widespread of the use of Internet, people have more freedom to choose to work at home instead of travelling to work. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, more and more companies let their employees work from home instead of going to the office with long commuting. I think this measure has more positive influences.

Some parents buy their children a lot of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for children who have a lot of toys?

Fully explain your ideas

Increasing the price of petrol is the only way to solve environmental problems. Do you agree or disagree?

In some cities, public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own food and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, think that school is the place to learn it. Discuss both views?

Children brought up in families with less money are better prepared for life than those from wealthy families. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In most countries, with the widespread of the use of Internet, people have more freedom to choose to work at home instead of travelling to work. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?