Some parents buy their children a lot of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for children who have a lot of toys?

#parents #children #toys

Nowadays many

parents

give their

children

excessive

toys

, in

this

essay I will describe the advantages and disadvantages for

children

who have many

toys

. Surely all

parents

love their

children

with

Correct word choice

and with

show examples

this

love they are willing to give their

children

many

toys

, whether it is to please their

children

or help their

children

Verb problem

apply

show examples

learn. I think

this

is very okay to do by

parents

out there but it must be with supervision. I think the advantage of giving

children

a lot of

toys

is that

children

can explore the various shapes and textures of their

toys

Like there

Change preposition

There

show examples

are

toys

that have a soft texture when held and some are hard.

This

allows

children

to recognize and learn various textures. There are

also

toys

that are round, triangular, or square.

This

can make

children

learn about various shapes. And there are

also

lego

Capitalize word

Lego

show examples

toys

, which make

children

have to think critically in order to put together various pieces of

lego

Capitalize word

Lego

show examples

to form a building. From the many advantages that are given when

children

have many

toys

, there are

also

many disadvantages that can be obtained if

children

have many

toys

For example

, when

children

are comfortable with their

toys

, they no longer want to go outside to play with their friends.

This

can make

children

become unsociable and anti-social. Where

this

will be very detrimental to the child as an adult.

Therefore

, it is better to give

children

toys

that are not too excessive and

according to

their portion is the best choice that

parents

can choose

Submitted by zefanyagyu on Sat Jan 20 2024

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Task Achievement

To enhance task achievement, ensure that you address both parts of the task fully. Here, you could expand more specifically on the disadvantages to provide a more balanced response.

Coherence & Cohesion

Provide more distinct and clear topic sentences for each body paragraph to improve the logical structure.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly and enhance the flow of the essay.

Task Achievement

Incorporate specific examples to support your main points, which helps to make your arguments more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some parents buy their children a lot of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for children who have a lot of toys?

Fully explain your ideas

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT FAST PACE AND STRESS OF MODERN LIFE IS HAVING A NEGATIVE EFFECT ON FAMILIES. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE.

Some universities now offer their courses on the Internet so that people can study online. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some people think that exercise is the key to health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+