The Internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialize. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today’s digital area, the
internet
makes
people
not need to meet face-to-face to communicate.
On the other hand
, it
also
makes more and more
people
tend to avoid socialization. I personally agree with
this
notion, and I will elaborate on why in
this
essay.
To begin
with, the reason why I agree is that there is simplicity in connecting distant
people
to communicate in
real-time
Correct your spelling
real time
show examples
using
internet
applications
such
as WhatsApp or Telegram.
Although
the range of geography is far from each other,
this
does not prevent communication between
people
using the
internet
.
Furthermore
, the
Internet
can share
news
about the current situation with everyone around the world very quickly.
This
can develop relationships between communities and keep the country updated on the condition of the countries. To illustrate,
news
of a tsunami hit communities in Palu, Indonesia, and some of the communities' homes floated by the current of the water, so
news
of it quickly spread.
This
made
people
from various cities send food aid and tents for temporary shelter. Another reason why I disagree is that the
internet
can facilitate remote work and learning opportunities,
for example
, by using the Zoom application for meetings without physical presence.
This
helps reduce the need for physical presence,
such
as not needing to use transportation.
In addition
, the lack of transportation will make minimal use of fuel for vehicles.
This
will have an impact on the lack of emissions and contribute to keeping the environment clean by minimizing pollution. In conclusion, I agree with
this
statement because it can connect distant
people
to communicate and share
news
that can be seen around the world.
Also
, it can facilitate remote work and learning opportunities.
Submitted by bonarpasaribuu on

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task response
Ensure your opinion is consistent throughout the essay. Your introduction suggests you agree with the statement, yet you mention disagreeing in the second body paragraph which might confuse readers.
task response
To strengthen your essay, work on developing your arguments more thoroughly. While you provide examples and reasons, diving deeper into how the internet affects socialization directly would make your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For a more cohesive and coherent essay, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed and supported throughout. This will enhance the coherence of your essay.
task response
Good use of examples to support your points, especially the case of assistance to Palu, Indonesia.
coherence and cohesion
Effective introduction and conclusion that bookend your arguments nicely.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay logically progresses from the benefits of the internet in connecting people to its role in disseminating information, which demonstrates good structure.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • geographical distances
  • real-time communication
  • social media platforms
  • remote work
  • social isolation
  • screen time
  • emotional intelligence
  • digital divide
  • echo chamber
  • diverse perspectives
  • online and offline balance
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