The Internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialize. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In today’s digital area, the
internet
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makes
people
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not need to meet face-to-face to communicate.
On the other hand
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, it
also
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makes more and more
people
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tend to avoid socialization. I personally agree with
this
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notion, and I will elaborate on why in
this
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essay.
To begin
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with, the reason why I agree is that there is simplicity in connecting distant
people
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to communicate in
real-time
Correct your spelling
real time
show examples
using
internet
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applications
such
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as WhatsApp or Telegram.
Although
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the range of geography is far from each other,
this
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does not prevent communication between
people
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using the
internet
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.
Furthermore
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, the
Internet
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can share
news
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about the current situation with everyone around the world very quickly.
This
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can develop relationships between communities and keep the country updated on the condition of the countries. To illustrate,
news
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of a tsunami hit communities in Palu, Indonesia, and some of the communities' homes floated by the current of the water, so
news
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of it quickly spread.
This
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made
people
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from various cities send food aid and tents for temporary shelter. Another reason why I disagree is that the
internet
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can facilitate remote work and learning opportunities,
for example
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, by using the Zoom application for meetings without physical presence.
This
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helps reduce the need for physical presence,
such
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as not needing to use transportation.
In addition
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, the lack of transportation will make minimal use of fuel for vehicles.
This
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will have an impact on the lack of emissions and contribute to keeping the environment clean by minimizing pollution. In conclusion, I agree with
this
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statement because it can connect distant
people
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to communicate and share
news
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that can be seen around the world.
Also
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, it can facilitate remote work and learning opportunities.
Submitted by bonarpasaribuu on

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task response
Ensure your opinion is consistent throughout the essay. Your introduction suggests you agree with the statement, yet you mention disagreeing in the second body paragraph which might confuse readers.
task response
To strengthen your essay, work on developing your arguments more thoroughly. While you provide examples and reasons, diving deeper into how the internet affects socialization directly would make your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For a more cohesive and coherent essay, use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed and supported throughout. This will enhance the coherence of your essay.
task response
Good use of examples to support your points, especially the case of assistance to Palu, Indonesia.
coherence and cohesion
Effective introduction and conclusion that bookend your arguments nicely.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay logically progresses from the benefits of the internet in connecting people to its role in disseminating information, which demonstrates good structure.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • geographical distances
  • real-time communication
  • social media platforms
  • remote work
  • social isolation
  • screen time
  • emotional intelligence
  • digital divide
  • echo chamber
  • diverse perspectives
  • online and offline balance
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