The internet has changed the way we communicate. Much communication today happens through social media. Some people support this and think it is a positive development. Others believe that social media have negative effects. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Communication styles have changed radically over the past 20 years, and
this
is largely
due to
the prevalence of social
media
websites
. Some see
this
as a wonderful enhancement of their lifestyle,
while
others have a more critical opinion.
This
essay will outline the benefits and drawbacks of
this
phenomenon
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and will weigh up its merits. Social
media
websites
have reached their current level of popularity because of their many advantages. Notably, these
websites
have made it almost effortless to create and maintain both local and international social networks.
In addition
,
thay
Correct your spelling
they
allow users to access support when suffering from life’s tribulations and complications. It is possible, as well, to use these
sites
to find and discuss information about many issues, from the best local shopping to international news. Authorities find social
media
advantageous when tracking criminals, who sometimes use networks to set up illegal activities. One
further
advantage is that
sites
such
as LinkedIn are a key resource for job recruiters, and many
people
find work in
this
way.
However
, these
sites
also
have significant negative consequences. Foremost is the fact that both students and workers can waste a great deal of
time
and productivity because of the distractions these networks provide.
This
can adversely affect not only academic life but
also
career opportunities. Another drawback is the amount of misinformation and vicious
rumour
Fix the agreement mistake
rumours
show examples
that can circulate and spread like wildfire, causing real misery and distress to both private citizens and
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
celebrities.
Finally
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
websites
tend to reduce
time
spent on face-to-face communication, and, in my opinion, live family and friend interactions are of primary importance for our mental wellbeing. In conclusion,
although
social
media
sites
have the potential to bring
people
closer together, they encourage
time wasting
Add a hyphen
time-wasting
show examples
and superficial communication, and the anonymity that they provide allows for unkind, even nasty, social interactions.
People
would do better to spend more quality, face-to-face
time
with real
people
.
Submitted by michellehoon0924 on

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task achievement
Ensure that all parts of the task are addressed evenly. While you provided a balanced view, your own opinion could be stated more prominently.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your points. General statements are well-presented, but examples add depth and clarity.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to improve logical flow between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Develop a more nuanced conclusion that more effectively summarizes the arguments presented and your own viewpoint.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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