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Band 3

The rise so sociaal media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

#rise #media #relationships #society #communication
In today's digital social networking
sites
 popularity across all age groups.
This
 author argues that sharing personal
information
 on social platforms in
the benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
 ways and avoiding social
media
outweighs
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweigh
show examples
 the disadvantages. The most advantageous factor of social
media
 is that it can help get in touch and contact with each other not only near but
also
 far, too.
This
 means we can meet each other by phone
such
 as
have
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
call
Replace the word
calling
show examples
, text
message
Wrong verb form
messaging
show examples
, or email.
For example
, your friend is lives in another country and you in your country. We have their account and get in touch by phone, and message together that easy to connect. Another benefit of social networking
sites
 is
convenience
Correct article usage
the convenience
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 accessing social
information
. There are lot of
information
 very new that everyone around the world can connect together to help us more modern and know more friends
whom
Change preposition
with whom
show examples
 we can share our experiences in life for each other. Thereby, people should update the
information
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 on social that can help and knowledge in social life.
However
, using social
media
 when it comes to communication, does more harm than good.
This
 misuse of social
media
 reduces the quality of interpersonal communication. People are addicted to social networking
sites
. Thereby, people need to use it reasonably and scientifically, they should only use it for about 2 hours a day.
Talking
Correct your spelling
Taking
show examples
 all points into account, there is no doubt that social networking
sites
 have more advantages than disadvantages in both social and schooling fields.

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task achievement
Be sure to clearly state your position in the introduction, ensuring it relates directly to the question asked. A thesis statement can be a valuable tool for summarizing the main argument.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to help the reader follow the argument more easily. This includes sequence markers and linking words.
task achievement
Provide specific, detailed examples to support your points. These examples should illustrate and reinforce your argument, making it more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • networking opportunities
  • real-time information
  • community building
  • marketing opportunities
  • self-expression
  • educational content
  • privacy concerns
  • data security
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • cyberbullying
  • interpersonal skills
  • distraction
  • productivity
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