the chart gives information about entertainment venues and their admissions in 2009

the chart gives information about entertainment venues and their admissions in 2009
The bar chart and table provided illustrate data sets regarding entertainment venues' admissions in the year 2009. Looking from an
overall
perspective, it is readily apparent that most
participated
Wrong verb form
participating
show examples
amusement venues are cinemas,
whereas
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports events
showing
Wrong verb form
show
show examples
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
opposite trend.
However
, football games are the most expensive for both single and family tickets,
while
the cinema is the most affordable event. In detail, the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
cinema admissions in 2009 was above 1000 thousand, followed by theme parks with a significantly lower number of below 400 thousand, and sports with under 200 thousand.
On the other hand
, football matches, specifically AFL, NRL, and NRU, hold the most expensive tickets
range
Replace the word
ranging
show examples
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
71 to 75
dollars
for
solo
Correct article usage
a solo
show examples
and 280 to 298
dollars
for a family ticket, which
include
Correct subject-verb agreement
includes
show examples
4 tickets.
Moreover
, the theme park fees are vaguely comparable to footballs but
offered
Wrong verb form
offer
show examples
a much
economical
Correct quantifier usage
more economical
show examples
option for a bundled ticket (210
dollars
).
Furthermore
,
while
basketball and cricket games cost noticeably higher fees, the cinema ticket's worth is just about 15
dollars
for singular and 55
dollars
for a family package.
Submitted by jelitasofiaz on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words dollars with synonyms.
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