Fewer young people play sports these days. why is this? what can be done to encourage more young people to do sports?
In
this
contemporary era, younger generations seem more hesitant to engage in outdoor activities. The common problem is that parents lack care for their childrens
because they are just focused on their job. To solve these cases, schools and guardians ought to participate in physical activities with their kids to change their habits.
Correct your spelling
children
children's
To begin
with, today's humans are busy running their business
and earning money for their kids but they are unaware Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
about
their children’s daily routines. Change preposition
of
As a result
, since
of the scarcity of constraints, children can freely play virtual Change preposition
because
games
through mobile phones and computers. Therefore
, youngsters are
lose interest in physical activities. Unnecessary verb
apply
For example
, in the past because of technologies that are not popular, youths just can hanging
around with their friends or Change the verb form
hang
be hanging
playing
outdoor Wrong verb form
play
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
such
as football, basketball, and cycling. But today it all is replaced by virtual stuff.
To overcome this
problem, government
and Correct article usage
the government
guardian
Fix the agreement mistake
guardians
are have
to associate to prevent children addicted Change the verb form
have
with
Change preposition
to
games
and computing stuff. Firstly
, the educational establishment should impose strong laws to put
physical education Verb problem
make
to
Change preposition
apply
the
major subject. Correct article usage
a
In other words
, pupils should achieve good results in outdoor
curriculum Correct article usage
the outdoor
otherwise
they can't graduate. In
Change preposition
As
the
Correct article usage
a
consequences
, students will pay more attention Fix the agreement mistake
consequence
on
it and Change preposition
to
on the other hand
can stimulate childrens
curiosity about Change to a genitive case
children's
sport
, and take them Fix the agreement mistake
sports
from
a sedentary lifestyle.
In conclusion, Rephrase
away from
due to
technological advancement youths are more pursue virtual games
rather than actual sports. Thus
, parents should care for their children's mental and physical health, take part in their daily schedules and assist them to escape from the obsession with games
.Submitted by haixiuxiaonini on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The essay lacks a clear structure with identifiable paragraphs. Having well-defined sections will enhance the logical flow of your writing.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and topic sentences to establish the main point of each paragraph. This helps to connect your ideas and improve the overall cohesiveness of your essay.
task achievement
Expand upon your main points with clear and relevant examples that directly support your argument. This furnishes your essay with the required depth and detail.
task achievement
Strive to cover all parts of the prompt by discussing reasons for the decline in sports participation among young people and offering a variety of solutions. This will ensure you fully meet the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
Avoid grammatical errors and ensure verb tense consistency throughout your essay. This will enhance clarity and make your points more comprehensible.
coherence cohesion
Consider rephrasing sentences that contain awkward or unnatural language to sound more natural in English. Carefully choose words that accurately convey your intended meaning.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!