IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages.

#rise #media #relationships #society #communication
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's digital age, social
media
 is used as the best way to the relationships.
This
 writer believes the benefits of social
media
, including knowing carefully about other
people
, and easy contact surpass the drawbacks of not going outside, so follow
this
 to see more information. One of the main beneficial aspects of using social
media
 to communicate is to know more about other
people
. That means I can find their information on Facebook, and so on. Another point to note is that social networks
also
 help individuals not be shy when talking to friends. It can be explained that more
people
 are unsociable in real life, but on Facebook
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, they can talk about more and more things, and with that,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
helps more
people
 easily show their emotions.
However
, social
media
 causes more problems in human life,
people
 just want to stay at home all the time, so
that is
 one of the main reasons more diseases like stress, and depression, affect relationships, but everyone has to realize that it makes our life more easier.
To sum up
, for the reasons mentioned above, I am of the opinion that the positive effects that social
media
 has on our communication are outweighed by the disadvantages.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure logical sequencing of ideas and clearer paragraphing, with a topic sentence and supporting sentences that develop the main idea more fully.
coherence cohesion
Expand on your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. Aim to have at least two clear, fully developed points in each paragraph.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, present a balanced argument by discussing both advantages and disadvantages in more depth and with specific examples. Additionally, make it clear how these points support your overall position on the issue.
task achievement
To score higher on task achievement, ensure all parts of the prompt are addressed fully, and avoid generalizations by using specific and relevant examples to back up your claims.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • networking opportunities
  • real-time information
  • community building
  • marketing opportunities
  • self-expression
  • educational content
  • privacy concerns
  • data security
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • cyberbullying
  • interpersonal skills
  • distraction
  • productivity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: