Some people say computers have made life more difficult and complicated, others think that it has made our lives easier. Do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your view.

It goes without saying that the change in society driven by the development of
computer
technology
has become wider and played a crucial role in our
lives
.
Although
some people are concerned that
computer
technology
will make society complicated, I firmly believe that
this
will bring more merits than demerits to our
lives
. On the one hand, the development of
computer
technology
has the potential of
affecting
Wrong verb form
affect
show examples
the way we live
negatively
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
Firstly
, a number of jobs in various companies are already substituted by artificial intelligence controlled by
computers
which leads to soaring the percentage of job loss.
According to
recent research conducted by the Korea Development Institute in 2020, the correlation between the adoption of computing machinery in manufacturing industries and unemployment rates was strong in Korea from 2010 to 2019.
Moreover
, as data processor
technology
is adopted in many societal parts, people who have trouble using
computers
such
as the aged or locals who reside in remote areas can be isolated and impoverished because they are limited to the diverse services and job opportunities. In spite of the above-mentioned perspectives, the proliferation of
computers
can make our
lives
safe and sustainable.
Above all
, we do not have to take over unpleasant and dangerous work since they are handled by machines or robots utilizing
computer
skills.
Instead
, humans can focus on working at decent jobs which are safer and cleaner, which will result in increasing the level of people’s life satisfaction.
Besides
, science can solve a number of severe problems
our
Change preposition
in our
show examples
community like the scarcity of resources and environmental pollution. New renewable resources are invented and methods of purifying damaged nature are adopted thanks to brand new
technology
which makes society better. To surmise, though there are concerns about
computer
science, I am convinced that our
lives
will be enriched
due to
Change preposition
by
show examples
utilizing
computers
proactively.
Submitted by 0617crystal on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea and that the following sentences expand on that idea with examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth and logical. This helps the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
For task achievement, continue to provide clear examples to support your points. Include statistics, reports, or real-world examples that strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position on the topic and that your conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments without repeating them verbatim.
task achievement
You could further enhance task response by elaborating more on how computers enhance the quality of life, perhaps by discussing social connectivity or access to information.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Streamlined
  • Data analysis
  • Global connectivity
  • Video conferencing
  • Digital marketing
  • Telemedicine
  • Technological advancements
  • Digital divide
  • Data security
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Electronic waste
  • Cybersecurity
  • Automation
  • Remote work
  • Innovations
  • User interface
  • Digital literacy
  • Artificial intelligence
  • E-commerce
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