IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that planting trees in open space in cities and towns is more important than building houses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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These days, a group of people believe that the best strategy for the empty zone is they grow plants
instead
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 of full them with accommodations. I subscribe to
this
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 perspective owing to the fact that it has a positive effect on the environment and people's health. On the one hand, what important is that when the number of trees in one area increases, the amount of carbon dioxide, the greenhouse gas, reduces. In fact, planets are the best items that can purify the air from CO2 and emit Oxygen;
therefore
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, they prevent global warming.
In addition
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, they create a chance for animals to have their habitat.
For example
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, green fields are the main area for wild animals like rabbits, birds and so on.
On the other hand
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, woodlands are places for urbanizations to spend their free time exercising on roads or relaxing to restore their energy.
In other words
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, these regions aid the individual to be not at risk of not only physical but
also
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 mental issues. To illustrate, most of the population who live in metropolises spend their weekends camping, picnicking, or doing physical activities in the parks with amenities ,
such
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 as purification water, and so forth.
To sum up
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, in my personal view, green lands provide an opportunity for wild creatures to have their ecosystems and people to have fresh air and help them to be healthy .
As a result
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, planting trees rather than constructing the new residential area in the open space is a positive development.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to clarify your main argument further; for instance, you could elaborate on the benefits of trees beyond environmental ones. Consider integrating more cohesive devices to improve the flow between sections.
task achievement
Make sure to clearly define your perspective in the introduction; a stronger thesis statement could enhance the clarity of your stance.
task achievement
You have a clear stance on the issue and support it with relevant points, showing good engagement with the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with clear paragraphs, which aids understanding and organization.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban forestry
  • biodiversity
  • recreational areas
  • sustainable development
  • afforestation
  • carbon sequestration
  • photosynthesis
  • green infrastructure
  • heat island effect
  • property values
  • eco-friendly
  • mixed-use development
  • vertical gardens
  • rooftop parks
  • land-use planning
  • renewable resources
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