Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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The decreasing amount of time that
children
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spend on offline activities is dangerously alarming,
hence
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why many
juveniles
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are so occupied with smartphones to compensate for that.
This
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phenomenon is allegedly caused by a major expansion of advancement of technology which allows
children
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to do most of their activity via online platforms, even for studying, and increasing the sense of dependency.
This
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essay will discuss how
this
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particular shift of behaviour is not beneficial for the offspring.
Firstly
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,
children
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may lack self-control and refuse to put their phones down to do their responsibilities,
such
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as studying or engaging with family members. Take video games,
for instance
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,
this
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particular activity is so addictive that it severely causes plummeting school grades for many adolescents. If
this
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issue is not quickly tackled, it will lead to more severe damage,
such
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as a lack of cognitive development and self-regulation of the
juveniles
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.
Thus
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, the overuse of smartphones impacts the emotional intelligence of their users, especially their offspring.
Secondly
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, other than impacting the social well-being of
children
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, the skyrocketing number of screen time
also
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affects their physical wellness as they will barely move their muscles when operating cell phones.
Furthermore
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,
this
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statement is proven by research on how adolescents with low physical activity tend to be more brittle and easily get sick, even having a higher chance of obesity, compared to those who regularly walk or do exercise.
Consequently
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, the
juveniles
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' low physical strengths which are caused by smartphone usage will slowly disrupt their long-term health conditions, which is a higher risk of suffering chronic disease in the future.
Hence
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, too much screen time is not good for
children
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's bodies. In conclusion, the dramatic rise in offspring's cell phone usage happens because of the convenience of doing everything online.
Finally
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, the disadvantages that it may cause are the
juveniles
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' poor emotional regulations and the disruption of their physical well-being,
hence
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why I strongly agree that
this
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is a negative development.
Submitted by pink panther on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure you have a clear central topic for each paragraph and use cohesive devices effectively to link your ideas. Avoid overly complex sentences that may confuse the reader.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring that your position is relevant and clear throughout the essay. Expand your ideas with more focused and elaborate examples to support your argument more convincingly.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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