IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The working week should be shorter and workers should a longer week.

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There is a view that
employees
Use synonyms
 should be provided with longer non-working days and short
work
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 weeks.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
time table
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timetable
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 will be beneficial for mental
health
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 and
creativity
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, it is better to maintain the standard schedule in order to avoid accumulating tasks and having to complete them all at once. One major advantage of
a reduced
Correct the article-noun agreement
a reduced workweek
reduced workweeks
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workweeks
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,
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apply
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 is its positive effect on employee's mental
health
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 and
creativity
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. Working long hours without optimal rest can cause burnout, stress and decreased motivation which can negatively impact
on
Change preposition
apply
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both
employees
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 and their managers.A reduced workweek positively impacts
employees
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’ mental
health
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,
creativity
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, and job satisfaction. When workers have more time to rest and engage in personal activities, they return to
work
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 feeling refreshed and more motivated.
For example
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, companies like Microsoft Japan implemented a four-day workweek and reported a 40% increase in productivity.
Employees
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 were able to focus better, generate new ideas, and complete tasks more efficiently.
Additionally
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, shorter
workweeks
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 reduce burnout, a common issue in high-stress jobs. In creative fields like graphic design or advertising, well-rested
employees
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 tend to produce more innovative and high-quality
work
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, benefiting both the
employees
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 and their companies.
However
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, maintaining a standard
work
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 schedule prevents tasks from piling up and reduces operational challenges. In industries like healthcare, finance, and customer service,
work
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 is continuous, and reducing workdays could result in delays and decreased service quality.
For example
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, in hospitals, doctors and nurses need to be available daily to provide patient care. If
workweeks
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 were shortened without proper adjustments, hospitals might experience staff shortages, leading to longer wait times and a decline in patient care quality.
Similarly
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, in retail businesses, fewer workdays could mean lower customer satisfaction
due to
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 limited service availability. Some companies might try to compensate by increasing daily
work
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 hours, but
this
Linking Words
 could lead to exhaustion rather than improved efficiency.
While
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 shorter
workweeks
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 boost mental
health
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 and
creativity
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, they may cause workload accumulation and operational challenges. Businesses should assess their needs carefully to balance productivity and employee well-being.

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Task Achievement
You have addressed the topic and presented arguments for both sides, but consider elaborating further on how a shorter workweek may specifically benefit various sectors, acknowledging potential drawbacks more comprehensively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your ideas are structured logically, but transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to guide the reader more clearly through your argument. Use linking words and phrases to enhance flow.
Task Achievement
While your examples are relevant, including one or two more specific examples could help strengthen your points and provide additional context to your arguments.
Task Achievement
Addressed both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the topic and its implications.
Task Achievement
Good use of specific examples, such as the Microsoft Japan case, which enhances credibility and provides a clear illustration of your point.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • productivity
  • employment rates
  • leisure activities
  • mental health
  • physical health
  • economic impacts
  • environmental benefits
  • carbon emissions
  • employee well-being
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