IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. why is this the case? what can be done about this problem?

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A huge number of
people
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 suffer from
hunger
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 in many areas around the
world
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,
this
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 is
while
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 agriculture’s agricultural methods for production have improved significantly.
This
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 essay
discussed
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apply
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will discuss all the reasons that result in the lack of
food
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 for
people
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such
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 as the increase
of
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apply
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in global human
population
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, poor
transport
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system
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systems
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 and insufficient
access
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of
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apply
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for all
countries
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 to recent advancements in agriculture.
Also
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, some possible solutions to improve the chain
food
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system
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 and proper
access
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 of starving
hunger
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people
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 to
the
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apply
show examples
food
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werewill
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will
 be mentioned. One major reason for the lack of
food
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 in the
world
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 is the increase in human
population
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, which has resulted in more and more demand for
food
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. It is reported by international organizations that during the
last
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 5 decades, the
world
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population
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 has increased by approximately 2
milliardbillion
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million
. One Other factor is that
not only
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apply
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some
countries
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 not only not have
access
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 to new advancements in
agricultures
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agriculture
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such
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 as vertical farming, but
also
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, they don’t do not have enough sources
such
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 as soil with high crop yield for cultivation.
For example
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, in many third under-developed
countries
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which
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apply
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where there is not adequate
equipment’s
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equipment
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 for higher cultivation still
the
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apply
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conventional methods for agriculture have been used (are being used).
As a result
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, the amount of
food
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 produced is not enough to guarantee all
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 in
such
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societiesy
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societies
. There are numerous ways that can help
people
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 from
hunger
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 and save them.
First,
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the
population
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 rate can be controlled by the government by applying new rules for families giving birth. If each family had only 2 children or less, half of the problem would be solved.
Moreover
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,
better
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a better
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transport
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system
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 can be applied for areas with rough
pass ways
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passways
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such
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 as villages located in mountains or third
world
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countries
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 which do
notesn’t
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doesn’t
 have
access
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 to
adequate
Add an article
the adequate
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transport
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system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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. In conclusion,
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however
Add the comma(s)
however,
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 the problem of
hunger
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 has not been solved for all
people
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 , there are plenty of ways to help the
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world
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world's
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food
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 problem
such
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 as rules for birth limitation and
development
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the development
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 of
transport
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system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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to
Change preposition
for
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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places with low technology and resources.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction and conclusion could be more clearly defined and better mirror each other for cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices effectively to enhance the logical flow of your essay. Some of the connected phrases and transitional signals could be improved upon.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each body paragraph has a clear central idea and that all subsequent sentences within that paragraph fully support that idea. Avoid introducing new ideas without adequate development or support.
task achievement
Respond directly to all parts of the question, ensuring a balanced treatment of each part within the word count limit. Ensure that examples are specific, directly relevant, and fully explained to demonstrate your points effectively.
task achievement
Thoroughly develop your ideas with explanations, examples, and results. The provided examples should be expanded upon to clearly show how they relate to the central idea of the paragraph.
task achievement
Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and enhance clarity. Pay particular attention to verb tenses, articles, and subject-verb agreement.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
What to do next:
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