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Band 6.5

The Impact of Technology on Traditional Industries

#impact #technology #industries
In the contemporary era, technological advancements have revolutionized various aspects of our lives, including traditional
industries
.
While
 some argue that these changes have led to the demise of traditional sectors, others contend that
technology
 has breathed new life into them.
This
 essay will explore both perspectives and provide a balanced view. On the one hand, proponents of the idea that
technology
 has negatively impacted traditional
industries
 argue that
automation
 and artificial intelligence have replaced manual
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
, leading to widespread unemployment.
For instance
, the manufacturing sector, once a thriving source of employment, has seen a significant decline in workforce demand
due to
 the
automation
 of production processes.
This
 has not only resulted in job losses but has
also
 affected the socio-economic fabric of communities that relied heavily on these
industries
.
On the other hand
, there is a compelling argument that
technology
 has revitalized traditional sectors by making them more efficient and competitive.
Automation
 and digitalization have streamlined production processes, resulting in increased productivity and higher-quality products.
Moreover
,
technology
 has facilitated global connectivity, allowing traditional
industries
 to reach new markets and consumers.
For example
, small-scale artisans and craftsmen can now showcase and sell their products globally through online platforms, creating opportunities that were once unimaginable. In conclusion, the impact of
technology
 on traditional
industries
 is a multifaceted issue with both positive and negative consequences.
While
 it is true that
automation
 has led to job displacement in certain sectors, it has
also
 breathed new life into traditional
industries
 by enhancing efficiency and expanding market reach. Striking a balance between embracing technological advancements and mitigating their negative effects is crucial for the sustainable development of traditional
industries
 in the digital age.
Submitted by rbtech65 on

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task achievement
To improve your score in task achievement, make sure to include more specific examples and detail to provide stronger support for your arguments. Adding statistics, case studies, or real-world instances related to the impact of technology on specific traditional industries could make your points more illustrative and persuasive.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is clearly structured, strive to use a greater variety of cohesive devices and transition words to ensure a smoother flow of ideas. Practicing the use of synonyms and complex sentence structures can also enhance the coherence and cohesion of your writing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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