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Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram shows the life cycle of a butterfly.

The diagram shows the life cycle of a butterfly.
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The diagram shows the life cycle of a butterfly. The process represents the cycle of
insect’s
Correct article usage
an insect’s
show examples
 life. Butterfly hatches from the egg and becomes a caterpillar. It curls up into the chrysalis and waits
the
Change preposition
for the
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 right season. After some time a butterfly gets out with the chrysalis and an adult emerges. We can see that a butterfly is born, as
egg
Add an article
an egg
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.
Further
Linking Words
, it hatches from
egg
Add an article
an egg
the egg
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 and emerges
to
Change preposition
as
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caterpillar
Add an article
the caterpillar
a caterpillar
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. Caterpillar is a future butterfly, which can not fly yet , but can crawl .
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 part of the cycle, the insect curls up into
cocoon
Add an article
a cocoon
show examples
 and evolves in it.
Finally
Linking Words
, in the cocoon, the insect has wings. After it comes out of the chrysalis, it becomes an adult butterfly.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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