In many countries, traditional food are being replaced by international fast food. This is having a negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Food
is the major source of living in human life.Food
provide
energy and minerals to human bodies.
In the modern Change the verb form
provides
wold
, many people have Correct your spelling
world
hustle
Add an article
a hustle
life style
that negative impact Correct your spelling
lifestyle
to consuming
habits.
I personally agree with Replace the word
on their consumption
idea
that traditional Correct article usage
the idea
food
are
being replaced by fast Change the verb form
is
food
.
To begin
with,the health care concern when cosumed
fast Correct your spelling
consuming
food
for a long time.Firstly
nutrition content from fastfood
.Correct your spelling
fast food
Their
have a lot of calories and contain more fat.Resulting Correct pronoun usage
They
to
many Change preposition
in
disease
.Change to a plural noun
diseases
For example
, cancer, stroke
.Other of major concern is Correct word choice
and stroke
that
Correct determiner usage
the
enviroment
because in Correct your spelling
environment
manufacture
of fast Add an article
the manufacture
food
that
need much more Correct pronoun usage
we
resource
for mass production Fix the agreement mistake
resources
proces
.Correct your spelling
processes
Furthermore
, The global climate effects is
Change the verb form
are
the
minority Correct article usage
a
issues
from fast Fix the agreement mistake
issue
food
manufacturing. For instance
, if they produce food
that must genarate
methane Correct your spelling
generate
also
methane provided
Wrong verb form
provides
negetive
impacts Correct your spelling
negative
to
the atmosphere.It is Change preposition
on
reuslting
to the rise of the global temperature.
Correct your spelling
resulting
Additionally
, the impact to
social Change preposition
on
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
cana
reduce participating time with families and decrease Correct your spelling
can
families
bonds and communication Change noun form
families'
family's
each
other. In some Change preposition
with each
case
that Fix the agreement mistake
cases
encouraging
some people to hustle habits.Because fast Wrong verb form
encourages
food
can provided
Change the form of the verb
provide
convenient
and quick for people.Replace the word
convenience
Nowaday
,fast Correct your spelling
Nowadays
food
would
Verb problem
has
improve
to Wrong verb form
improved
the
mobile Correct article usage
apply
application
for Fix the agreement mistake
applications
food
delivery like Grab
application.Correct article usage
the Grab
Moreover
, cultural traditional food
must erosion and loss Change preposition
of traditonal
traditonal
dishes Correct your spelling
traditional
also
the economic problems from reduce
Change the verb form
reducing
income
of local Add an article
the income
bussiness
or local stores.
In conclusion, after analysis of Correct your spelling
businesses
this
topic would illustrate that consuming fast food
have
many Correct subject-verb agreement
has
negetives
effects Correct your spelling
negative
negatives
to
human Change preposition
on
life style
and habits. Correct your spelling
lifestyle
For example
in term
of economic,social,environment
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
Hence
, these clarifications make me believe that the advantages of domestic meals are not as high as international foods.Submitted by kungslowjam on
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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve the logical structure of your essay, make sure to organize your ideas clearly. Your essay should have a clear introduction, a few body paragraphs each focusing on a different aspect of the topic, and a conclusion that summarizes your points without introducing new information.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are well-defined spaces in your essay. In the introduction, present the topic and your position on it. In the conclusion, summarize your arguments and restate your position, providing a sense of closure.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with clear examples and explanations. Instead of vaguely mentioning 'many diseases' like cancer and stroke, elaborate on how the consumption of fast food directly increases the risk of these diseases, and provide data or studies if possible.
Task Achievement
Generate an essay response that fully addresses the task. You should elaborate on how the prevalence of fast food impacts both families and societies, as the prompt suggests. Discuss both sides of the argument if the task asks for an opinion 'to what extent'.
Task Achievement
Strive to clarify and expand upon your ideas so that they are comprehensive and easy to understand. Avoid abrupt statements and make sure each point connects logically to the next. Add depth to your ideas by explaining the implications or consequences of each point.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.