the chart gives information about entertainment venues and their admissions in 2009

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The bar chart

ccompares

Correct your spelling

compares

the statistics of

attendancy

Correct your spelling

attendance

at entertainment places,

whereas

Linking Words

the table shows the data on the

Use synonyms

tickets

Change the noun form

ticket

show examples

prices of certain events in 2009.

Overall

Linking Words

, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

preferred

Wrong verb form

prefer

show examples

to watch movies at cinemas, rather than

visiting

Wrong verb form

visit

show examples

sports and theme parks.

Additionally

Linking Words

, cinema

tickets

Use synonyms

were the cheapest,

while

Linking Words

watching Australian Football was the most expensive experience.

To begin

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

the

attendency

Correct your spelling

attendance

tendency

bar graph, more than 1000 people went to the cinema accounting for the highest number.

In contrast

Linking Words

, only about 180 individuals travelled to watch sports, followed by about 380 visitors walking to the theme park in 2009.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, those who chose to watch a cricket game or a movie at the cinema spent the least amount of money

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

15$ and 24$ for a single ticket, respectively.

Converserly

Correct your spelling

Conversely

, single(75$) and family (298$ for 4 people)

tickets

Use synonyms

for a football game (AFL) had the highest rate

as well

Linking Words

Correct word choice

and

show examples

NRL

tickets

Use synonyms

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

being

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

slightly more reasonable

Change preposition

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

73$ per

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

person and 290$ for a group of four.

innakireeva0101Mon Jan 22 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words tickets with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

171 words

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the chart gives information about entertainment venues and their admissions in 2009

Some people think that homework is unnecessary and should be banned in schools. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

n some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?