Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss bothe sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.
A discourse about culture in schools
have
resulted in various Correct subject-verb agreement
has
reponses
, some people think it is fundamental to teach competitiveness. Correct your spelling
responses
While
others say they should be taught to cooperate and work in a team. From the deepest of my heart, my standpoint gravitate
to the latter.
Change the verb form
gravitates
To begin
with, teaching students to be competitive might be a good thing as it harsens their survival mode. Moreover
, it also
taught them that to get what they want they should be hard workers. As a result
, they will be high-achievers
with Correct your spelling
high achievers
abundance
of achievements. Regardless, there are various downsides Add an article
an abundance
the abundance
from
it. Change preposition
to
Firstly
, they will be highly ambitious that
will do Correct word choice
and
everyting
possible to get what they want sometimes even Correct your spelling
everything
do
harmful things, Wrong verb form
doing
such
as cheating. Secondly
, it creates individualistic children that
only care for themselves and Correct pronoun usage
who
low
awareness Add a missing verb
have low
to
the surrounding environment.
Change preposition
of
On the other hand
, teaching children cooperation and team work
skills will bring various benefits. Correct your spelling
teamwork
Firstly
, it will surely helps
them to lower their ego and accept differences in life. Change the verb form
help
Secondly
, by doing so, they will be able to develop and grow together as a means to pursue their goals respectively. Thirdly
, it will brings
them closer to one another, Change the verb form
bring
thus
build
a sense of belonging to always help and look out Wrong verb form
building
each
other. Fourthly, those two skills are fundamental Change preposition
for each
which
will be needed even in the workforce. Fifthly, as a social creature, they will not be able to live alone, Correct word choice
and
thus
having those kind
of skills will make them an integral part of the community.
Change the determiner
that kind
those kinds
To sum up
, while
others say that competitiveness is important to be taught in school. I do believe that teaching them to work in a team and to be cooperate
will be keys to a better life with a variety kind of benefits in the long run.Change the verb form
cooperate
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Introduction
Ensure that you provide a clear introduction that presents the scope of the essay without expressing your opinion too early.
Paragraph structure
Develop your paragraphs with clear topic sentences that indicate what the paragraph will discuss.
Linking words
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve cohesion between sentences and paragraphs.
Supporting examples
Support your main points with specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments.
Balanced discussion
Strive to maintain a balance when discussing both sides of the argument, dedicating equal development and consideration to each viewpoint before presenting your own opinion.
Conclusion
While concluding, summarize both views and your opinion succinctly to reinforce your final stance without introducing new information.
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