Some people believe that reading books is more worthwhile than exploring the internet. Discuss both views

There are two views about the value of reading
books
and spending
time
on social media. presumably, there are some defences for both groups. In
this
essay, I will point out them. In my opinion, I believe acquiring
knowledge
through
books
is essential for life
while
surfing the
internet
for
knowledge
can sometimes be a great help. On the one hand, those people who consider reading
books
as a valuable activity are right.
It is clear that
by reading
books
, not only you don't waste your
time
but
also
you would benefit as much from educating in class.
For instance
, reading
books
gives you
this
opportunity to boost your
knowledge
about all topics that you want.
Although
we can read
books
online, sometimes touching papers has a sense of satisfaction.
Moreover
, some people have difficulty watching screens for long hours.
As a result
, we shouldn't ignore the importance of reading
books
and the benefits
such
as improving memory which bring us.
On the other hand
, these days using the
Internet
is necessary for us. In some cases, we can't live without that.
For example
, each student searches the
internet
to come up with new ideas
instead
of walking around libraries which takes lots of
time
, so the
internet
made our life much easier than before.
Additionally
, by spending your
time
on the
Internet
you can easily make money and increase your salary. As an example, if you dedicate your
time
to your YouTube channel you will gain
moneyfor
Correct your spelling
money for
a
while
.
This
matter pushes especially young people to concentrate on social media
instead
of wasting
time
and a large amount of money to buy
books
.
To sum up
, there are lots of
books
around the world whose content cannot be found on the
Internet
, so we can not escape the value of reading
books
.
Moreover
, the development of the
internet
is mesmerising and stunning which maybe we can not delete from our routine. I believe
knowledge
improvement with the help of
books
is more important and should be prevalent among everyone.
Submitted by arefehbks on

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task achievement
You have provided a clear stance on the topic, which is good. However, to achieve a higher score in task achievement, ensure you address all parts of the prompt. While you discuss both views, make sure to offer a balanced argument before presenting your opinion.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on the logical sequence of information and ideas. Your essay should smoothly transition from one point to the next. To improve, consider using a wider range of linking words and cohesive devices.
task achievement
Offer more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments. This could involve citing studies, quoting experts, or providing statistical data that adds weight to your points. Specific examples help to show the examiner you can apply the general topic to real-world scenarios.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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