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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

THE ADVANTAGES AND DİSADVANTAGES OF OWNİNG A CAR/BİCYCLE

#di̇sadvantages #owni̇ng #car #bi̇cycle
1. It is known that owning a
car
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 piece of our life. With
cars
,we can go easily wherever we want.With the invention of the
car
,our life is faster than past.And the bicycles are like
cars
 but without
fuel
.So,we will learn the advantages and disadvantages of owning a
car
 and
bicycle
 in the rest of
essay
Correct article usage
the essay
show examples
. 2.One of the advantages of owning a
car
 is that it makes our life easier.
For example
,in the past people used animals for transportation and it took days
get
Add the particle
to get
show examples
 to their destination.And of
course
Add a comma
course,
show examples
 it was bad for the animals like horses because they had to walk for miles.So,with the invention of
Change the article
the car
show examples
car
Add a comma
car,
show examples
 we can easily
arrive
Verb problem
get
show examples
 wherever we want. The biggest advantage of
bicycle
Add an article
a bicycle
the bicycle
show examples
 is that it can used without any
fuel
.It is good for
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.Because the
fuel
 pollute the air and it
effects
Replace the word
affects
show examples
 our health. 3.
According to
this
 information,we can know that using
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 pollute the air because of the
fuel
.
The most
Correct article usage
Most
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people have their
cars
 and the effects of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution can be observed. The disadvantage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
owning
bicycle
Correct article usage
a bicycle
show examples
 is that we can't
use
 them in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad weather conditions.It is too dangerous because
bicyles
Correct your spelling
bicycles
 don't have any
measure
Fix the agreement mistake
measures
show examples
againts
Correct your spelling
against
 getting wet.
Car
 is safer than bicycles in the rain. And
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both of them
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
 us lazy because people prefer using
cars
/bicycles rather than
walk
Wrong verb form
walking
show examples
 short distances.It can
caused
Change the verb form
cause
be caused
show examples
 many health problems. 4.In my opinion,owning a
car
better
Add a missing verb
is better
show examples
 than
bicycle
Add an article
a bicycle
the bicycle
show examples
.Because
bicycle
 requires
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of energy.And with the
car
Add a comma
car,
show examples
 we can go long distances.Of
course
Add a comma
course,
show examples
 we can
use
bicyles
Correct your spelling
bicycles
 for going long distances but
bicycle
Add an article
the bicycle
a bicycle
show examples
 is less
comfartable
Correct your spelling
comfortable
 than
cars
. If we know to
use
 them with less damage and
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
,it is the best thing.We must know
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how can we
use
 them without
pollute
Wrong verb form
polluting
show examples
 the air and
harm
Wrong verb form
harming
show examples
 ourselves.
Submitted by h.ebrahimi66 on

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coherence cohesion
You need to ensure that your essay has a clear structure with distinct introductory paragraph, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence and develop one main idea.
coherence cohesion
Try to use a variety of linking words to connect your ideas and sentences. This will improve the flow of your essay and make it easier to follow.
task achievement
Each main point you make should be expanded on with specific examples and explanations. Avoid making general statements without backing them up with details.
task achievement
Keep your response focused on the task by providing balanced coverage of both advantages and disadvantages for owning a car and bicycle as the prompt requires.
Other
Please be mindful of grammatical accuracy and spelling throughout your essay. Errors can detract from the overall clarity and cohesion of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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