IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. 02

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Schools
Use synonyms
 are the basic learning base of pupils
whreas
Correct your spelling
whereas
 some people
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
 that
parents
Use synonyms
 can teach their
childern
Correct your spelling
children
 best individually. The notion has its own advantages and disadvantages but
according to
Linking Words
 my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
childen
Correct your spelling
children
gets
Correct subject-verb agreement
get
show examples
 more exposure
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 society in
schools
Use synonyms
 rather than staying at home.
Firstly
Linking Words
, If a
child
Use synonyms
 is learning at home,
parents
Use synonyms
 can teach their kid
according to
Linking Words
 his or her pace
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will be less stressful and fun learning.
This
Linking Words
 will
also
Linking Words
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 to have strong moral or
cutural
Correct your spelling
cultural
 values as your family and very less probability
to learn
Change preposition
of learning
show examples
 bad habits from other students.
For instance
Linking Words
, A study showed that
parents
Use synonyms
 who were tutoring their pupils at home
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 more productive in their jobs as they were least stressed
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
 their kid's mental health.
In addition
Linking Words
, As a growing human being if you spend more time with your family it will help to have
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
 bond with
Use synonyms
parents
Correct pronoun usage
your parents
show examples
 and the ability to share everything with them as they will be available to their
child
Use synonyms
 always. On the
onther
Correct your spelling
other
 hand, It's
imporatnt
Correct your spelling
important
 to send a youngster to
shool
Correct your spelling
school
show examples
 as
this
Linking Words
 is how they will learn values to survive in
this
Linking Words
 social world. They will learn how to cooperate, converse and make connections with fellow mates.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Schools
Use synonyms
 provide
large
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a large
the large
show examples
 number of
extra curicular
Correct your spelling
extracurricular
 activities with all the required
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
 that will help students to explore their other talents.
For example
Linking Words
, In early years,
schools
Use synonyms
 have
specific
Add an article
a specific
show examples
 period of time
aloted
Correct your spelling
allotted
 to each activity like art, music or sports and once a
child
Use synonyms
find
Change the verb form
finds
show examples
 their
particula
Correct your spelling
particular
 interest, they can choose their own particular club and keep on practising for that. In my opinion,
Schools
Use synonyms
 are
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 critical part of one's life where you learn all the major things about society,
freindship
Correct your spelling
friendship
,
importance
Add an article
the importance
show examples
 of education and dealing with multiple things at
time
Add an article
a time
the time
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is the best
enviornment
Correct your spelling
environment
 where
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
 brain will excel as
parents
Use synonyms
 cannot behave too
strict
Change the word
strictly
show examples
 will their
Use synonyms
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 because of the kind of relationship they hold and
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 difficult for some
parents
Use synonyms
 to manage
Use synonyms
child's
Correct pronoun usage
their child's
show examples
 studies with their jobs and house chores as well.

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task achievement
To strengthen your argument, ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss. This helps the reader understand your stance from the beginning.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear linking words to connect your ideas more effectively. Phrases like 'on the other hand,' 'furthermore,' and 'for example' can guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Although your examples are relevant, providing more detailed evidence or statistics can enhance the credibility of your points. This will also help to illustrate your arguments better.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to spelling and grammar errors, as they can distract the reader. (e.g., 'childen' should be 'children,' 'shool' should be 'school'). Proofreading can help reduce these mistakes.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion on the topic which helps to engage the reader.
coherence and cohesion
The essay contains a balanced view by discussing both home education and schooling, providing a holistic view of the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Personalized learning
  • Flexible learning pace
  • Family bonding
  • Negative influences
  • Socialization opportunities
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Cultural awareness
  • Qualified teachers
  • Curriculum
  • Homeschooling
  • Traditional schools
  • Diverse group of peers
  • Empathy
  • Peer pressure
What to do next:
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