Health experts claim that walking is known to be beneficial to health. However, people are walking less on a daily basis. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to encourage people to walk more again?

Nowadays many peoples
walking
Wrong verb form
walk
show examples
less on a daily basis.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
it's very risky
due to
our
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
purpose.
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
you
came
Wrong verb form
come
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across many
people
around
as
Correct word choice
who
show examples
uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
show examples
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
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everywhere they go.
some
Capitalize word
Some
show examples
of the places are meant for walking but
according to
our lives today many
people
find more safer
using
Change the verb form
to use
show examples
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
cars
instead
of walking
due to
theft or harmed robbers.
Nevertheless
Add a comma
Nevertheless,
show examples
the foods we are eating in our
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
today's
Change noun form
today
show examples
are full of chemicals,
even
Correct word choice
and even
show examples
food from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
farm
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
not safe at all, famers
uses
Change the verb form
use
show examples
chemical
Fix the agreement mistake
chemicals
show examples
to make
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
growth rapid not knowing they kill the entire community.
Also
due to the
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
today
Add a comma
today,
show examples
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
really
change
Change the verb form
changed
show examples
,for someone to walk is seen as if is wasting
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time.
Becouse
Correct your spelling
Because
time
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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moving like something else.
For blue-collar
Change preposition
Blue-collar
show examples
workers are
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
safer because
this
Correct pronoun usage
these
show examples
are the
people
struggling hard to get daily bread so they can do a lot of walking to
same
Correct your spelling
save
show examples
the money for
up keep
Correct your spelling
upkeep
show examples
.
Incontrast
Correct your spelling
In contrast
people
who are financially stable are in
dangerous
Add an article
a dangerous
show examples
situation because most of them
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
meals without discipline and they use
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
cars whenever they go,
hence
there bodies accumulate
along of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fats
Fix the agreement mistake
fat
show examples
at the end
of the day they get heart
attack
Fix the agreement mistake
attacks
show examples
. In my
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
I suggest
people
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
to consider walking as
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
daily routine.
Submitted by mahendotima on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that the essay directly addresses the questions posed, which are the reasons people walk less and solutions to encourage walking. Include specific points directly related to these questions.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by organizing the essay into clear, logical paragraphs each with a central idea. Transition smoothly between ideas and paragraphs. An introduction, at least two body paragraphs, and a conclusion should be used.
coherence cohesion
To strengthen cohesion, make use of linking words and phrases such as 'However', 'For instance', 'Furthermore', 'In contrast', and 'Consequently'. This will help the reader understand how your ideas are connected.
task achievement
Provide detailed examples and evidence to support the main points. Instead of making generalizations, use specific examples that illustrate your ideas more vividly.
coherence cohesion
Work on clear essay structure by including a clear introductory statement, followed by body paragraphs that each introduce and elaborate on a single main point, and conclude with a summary of the essay's main points and your recommendations or implications.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammar, punctuation, and spelling to improve clarity and accuracy. Avoid run-on sentences and strive for sentence variety.
task achievement
Review vocabulary usage to ensure that words and phrases are used correctly and are appropriate for the context. Aim for a variety of vocabulary to express ideas effectively.
coherence cohesion
In your conclusion, restate the main points succinctly before presenting your own viewpoint or suggesting a solution. Be clear and concise to leave a strong final impression.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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