IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some believe that technology, such as mobile phones, cell phones are destroying social interaction. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, society believes that the improvement of
technology
Use synonyms
 and mobile devices reduces the social relationships and
conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
show examples
 between humans day by day in a bad way.
However
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I tend to disagree and will explain why.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the main purpose of the mobile phone and advanced
technology
Use synonyms
 is to make communication easier. In the smartphone,
for instance
Linking Words
, people can use video calls or voice sound features to have conversations with others freely without any concerns about distance and time.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if folks just want to have a brief talk,
thus
Linking Words
 they can just type with a chat function or
for example
Linking Words
 with Messenger.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in fact,
technology
Use synonyms
 actually increases the number of social interactions.
This
Linking Words
 issue was raised by Meta, who said that since 2020, when COVID-19 and everything is digitalisation, humans tend to use Social Media and Networking platforms online to communicate, even the percentage increased to 80%. The survey
also
Linking Words
 states that easy, efficient, and cheap are the reasons why people prefer to use their devices to interact with each other.
Moreover
Linking Words
 , Meta added that social media interaction is very useful not only for getting in touch with family and friends
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 for improving the potential of business and marketing,
in other words
Linking Words
,
technology
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 online platforms
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 with the money factor. In conclusion, though most societies assume that
technology
Use synonyms
 decreases reactions between fellows, the reality is different. Precisely digital era makes people increasingly talk with each other because of some beneficial factors
such
Linking Words
 as simple, cost-savvy, and time-savvy.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Try to present a clear and more developed thesis statement in the introduction to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence and cohesion
To achieve higher coherence, ensure logical flow by using a variety of linking words and phrases.
task response
While some examples are provided, aim to include more specific, detailed examples to strongly support your points. Use statistics, research or specific instances where technology has enhanced social interaction.
coherence and cohesion
Be mindful of repetitive phrases or ideas. Variety in language use will make your argument more engaging and clear.
coherence and cohesion
Keep paragraphs well-structured with clear topic sentences at the beginning. Each paragraph should develop a single main idea.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: