There is an increasing trend around the world towards having a small family rather than a large family. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, there is a significant rise in the
number
of people
who prefer having a small family instead
of a large one
. In this
essay, I will explain why the benefits of having a small family overshadow the drawbacks.
On the one
hand, owning a small family can lead to two challenges. Firstly
, you will have a limited number
of family members. In this
world, you often need support from others, and your family is usually the first place you turn to. If you have a small family, you only have a few people
to reach out to. To illustrate, in financial difficulties when the bank is not an option, it becomes hard to find the
support. The next reason is, sometimes, you might feel lonely because you only have Correct article usage
apply
small
Change the article
a small
the small
number
of people
around to share feeling
with. In fact, Replace the word
feelings
this
lack of interaction will hinder the development of children’s
because they are not used to interacting with many different Change noun form
children
people
. Consequently
, this
may impact their ability to make friends.
On the other hand
, despite this
drawbacks, I would argue there are more benefits to Correct determiner usage
these
this
trend. Firstly
, each family member will be closer to one
and
another. As we know, there are a lot of Correct word choice
apply
people
not close even with their parents because they need to take care many
children. Change preposition
of many
However
, with a
fewer Correct article usage
apply
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
family
Add an article
a family
member
, parents have much time Fix the agreement mistake
members
focus
Fix the infinitive
to focus
with
their children and no Change preposition
on
one
felt
left behind. Wrong verb form
feels
Last
and the main benefit is small family
often have better financial stability. With fewer members, the family will have Fix the agreement mistake
families
less
financial burden that will affect Add an article
a less
the less
to
effective Change preposition
apply
resources
allocation, which Change the noun form
resource
consist
of insurance, education, and lifestyle and amplified to Change the verb form
consists
higher
quality of life.
In conclusion, Add an article
a higher
the higher
while
having a small family will make things difficult for some people
when it comes to need
support, Change the verb form
needing
small
family will maintain your relationship with other family members Correct article usage
a small
also
Correct word choice
and also
mostly
easier to Rephrase
make it
achieved
Change the form of the verb
achieve
better
quality of life. Correct article usage
a better
Therefore
, I am fully convinced that the demerits are eclipsed by the merits.Submitted by zefanyagyu on
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structure
Ensure the essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction should present the topic and your thesis statement clearly. Each paragraph in the body should contain one main idea, supported with examples or explanations. The conclusion should summarize your main points and restates your position.
cohesion
To improve logical structure, make sure the paragraphs flow smoothly from one to the next. Use cohesive devices such as linking words and phrases appropriately to ensure that ideas and paragraphs are well connected. Avoid overusing them as it can make the writing feel forced.
task completion
For better task achievement, ensure a complete response to the prompt by fully exploring all parts of the task. Provide a more balanced discussion of advantages and disadvantages, dedicating equal development to each side.
development
Develop your ideas more comprehensively. This means offering deeper insights, elaborating on implications, and providing clearer explanations about why the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
examples
Include more specific examples to support your points. While you have provided some examples, you could further strengthen your argument by giving more relevant and detailed illustrations about the impacts of having a small family.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
