There is an increasing trend around the world towards having a small family rather than a large family. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, there is a significant rise in the
number
of
people
who prefer having a small family
instead
of a large
one
. In
this
essay, I will explain why the benefits of having a small family overshadow the drawbacks. On the
one
hand, owning a small family can lead to two challenges.
Firstly
, you will have a limited
number
of family members. In
this
world, you often need support from others, and your family is usually the first place you turn to. If you have a small family, you only have a few
people
to reach out to. To illustrate, in financial difficulties when the bank is not an option, it becomes hard to find
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
support. The next reason is, sometimes, you might feel lonely because you only have
small
Change the article
a small
the small
show examples
number
of
people
around to share
feeling
Replace the word
feelings
show examples
with. In fact,
this
lack of interaction will hinder the development of
children’s
Change noun form
children
show examples
because they are not used to interacting with many different
people
.
Consequently
,
this
may impact their ability to make friends.
On the other hand
, despite
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
drawbacks, I would argue there are more benefits to
this
trend.
Firstly
, each family member will be closer to
one
and
Correct word choice
apply
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another. As we know, there are a lot of
people
not close even with their parents because they need to take care
many
Change preposition
of many
show examples
children.
However
, with
a
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apply
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fewer
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
family
Add an article
a family
show examples
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
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, parents have much time
focus
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to focus
show examples
with
Change preposition
on
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their children and no
one
felt
Wrong verb form
feels
show examples
left behind.
Last
and the main benefit is small
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
often have better financial stability. With fewer members, the family will have
less
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a less
the less
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financial burden that will affect
to
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apply
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effective
resources
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resource
show examples
allocation, which
consist
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consists
show examples
of insurance, education, and lifestyle and amplified to
higher
Add an article
a higher
the higher
show examples
quality of life. In conclusion,
while
having a small family will make things difficult for some
people
when it comes to
need
Change the verb form
needing
show examples
support,
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
family will maintain your relationship with other family members
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
mostly
Rephrase
make it
show examples
easier to
achieved
Change the form of the verb
achieve
show examples
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
quality of life.
Therefore
, I am fully convinced that the demerits are eclipsed by the merits.
Submitted by zefanyagyu on

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structure
Ensure the essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction should present the topic and your thesis statement clearly. Each paragraph in the body should contain one main idea, supported with examples or explanations. The conclusion should summarize your main points and restates your position.
cohesion
To improve logical structure, make sure the paragraphs flow smoothly from one to the next. Use cohesive devices such as linking words and phrases appropriately to ensure that ideas and paragraphs are well connected. Avoid overusing them as it can make the writing feel forced.
task completion
For better task achievement, ensure a complete response to the prompt by fully exploring all parts of the task. Provide a more balanced discussion of advantages and disadvantages, dedicating equal development to each side.
development
Develop your ideas more comprehensively. This means offering deeper insights, elaborating on implications, and providing clearer explanations about why the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
examples
Include more specific examples to support your points. While you have provided some examples, you could further strengthen your argument by giving more relevant and detailed illustrations about the impacts of having a small family.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial stability
  • Living standards
  • Concentrated resources
  • Parent-child bonding
  • Upbringing
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Carbon footprint
  • Supportive network
  • Cooperation
  • Multigenerational
  • Cultural traditions
  • Agricultural communities
  • Loneliness
  • Social competencies
  • Financial strain
  • Resource dilution
  • Education opportunities
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